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Is my best friend in love with me?

Published on March 5, 2010 by bibbit

My best friend and I have known each other for 7 years. I was newly married when we met and we worked together. As my marriage went downhill over the next several years, "J" was always there for me. I was there for him when his relationships failed. We have a great time together and have always been attracted to each other, but have never pursued a relationship. Now, I'm divorced, happy and healthy. He is single, happy and healthy as well. We've had sleep-overs before where nothing happened, but during the last one, we made love for the first time. It was great and we plan to do it again. We live in separate cities now, but we are together anytime one of us is in town. We already know we both love each other, but how do I tell if he's "In love" with me? I don't think we're in a relationship (it just started a little less than a month ago), but I want to know what he thinks this is. I was hurt/abused very badly by my ex-husband and I don't want to go forward with this if I'm just going to be a friend with benefits. I also don't want to squash what could be by being to anxious about things. He's hispanic and calls me "mi amor" and constantly calls me other pet names and tells me how much he likes me and how beautiful he thinks I am. What do I do? Help!


It's pretty obvious that he does love you. If you don't want to be a FWB, the only thing you can do is tell him that you are in love with him and want to pursue a committed relationship with him. Regardless of the long distance, if he wants to too there's no reason it wouldn't work out. You've already stayed friends throughout 7 years. If you've already had sex, there's no such thing as being anxious about things if you don't want to be a FWB and it's probably better to put things out in the open sooner rather than later. He sounds like a good friend that you can be honest with.