YOUR VOTE0 0
I've lived with two guys, my ex and the guy im dating now.
My ex and I dated an entire year and a half before we moved in and it was wonderful - head over heels and so much fun. After we moved in, we were still getting to know each other PLUS we had to learn how to live with one another. It added more stress. We started to argue. After two and a half years of dating the fighting got worse, and it was like he didn't have to impress me or date me anymore. We got in a routine and it all was a huge mess which lead to him cheating and our relationship ending.
I moved in with my boyfriend now almost right away it seemed. Even though he is much more finacially stable than my ex, we still have a lot of stress. I want to get married but it seems like it's out of sight only because he has all of me and is comfortable.
It seems like a pattern.
I recommend to continue living seperate. Let him "DATE" you for a while and the two of you grow strong!
All my married friends who lived seperate from their husbands are glad they did. They still have dates and know each other fully. They didn't have to try to get to know each other and deal with the stress of living together with bills and housework.
It's all on how you are in your relationship. My church and family are against living together before marriage but im not. I learned about my ex from living with him. He couldn't manage money, keep a clean house and was extremely lazy. I'm glad I got to see how living with a guy can be. I learned from my ex and went into this relationship knowing a lot. I know how to deal with my boyfriend now and how to keep our relationship and finanical obligations in order. It's just stressful but rewarding. You just have to be ready for what may come of the living situation.
I suggest having strong communication and devoting one night a week to date night. You can't change a person unless they want to change so expect him to have some funny,gross, or wierd living habbits and routine. Never go to bed angry or upset. ALWAYS talk to each other. Work as a team. It's not always going to be 50/50 - one day it'll be 80/20 or 30/70...
You need to wait until you are married. If you really love this guy and he really loves you and you want to live together then I don't see why you don't make your commitment official first and then move in together. God wants the best for you,remember that so make sure you do this the CORRECT way. I'll be praying for you.
I think that this is a very individual decision based on everyone's situation being different. For some couples it can be a slam dunk move and makes perfect sense because both people feel secure in the relationship and are on the same page as far as expectations. For some couples, it can be a premature move especially when one or both people are having reservations about their commitment to each other.
I don't think you have to wait to be married before you move in with someone. My husband and I were living together after we got engaged and it was really helpful for us. We had the opportunity to really get to know each other that way. You should move in when you're both 100% sure it's right and if you can see yourselves being together a while. If it's going to end in a month, what's the point?
You need to login to your account to answer or sign up for a new account if you don't have one yet.