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Mind Playing Tricks on Me

Published on September 25, 2013 by inlikeflint

About a month ago, I hooked up with a friend of a friend. It was unexpected, we had flirted during the day, and wound up kissing later that evening. I had low expectations beyond that initially, but we began talking and as we got to knew each other, grow fond.

She said she was afraid to date and wanted to take it slow, but her actions seemed to undermine this. She invited me to hang out three times within the next week. We had many intimate conversations, and we both started getting affectionate. She called me pet names like "darling", told me she adored me, and often when I was not around, told me she missed me, and wished I was curled up next to her. She was heavy on the affection, so I matched where she was.

I went out of town, and when I came back, we hung out again. We had talked about sex, and I misread her passion, and got a bit handsy, but she told me she was scared, so I stopped. She was in a great mood anyway, but her demeanor changed after that night. So much so, that I got upset wit hher on Saturday and sent an upset text, which I proactively apologized for, but the damage was done.

I have not seen her since. She claims to be extremely introverted and has cited unexpected stress at work and in her personal life, saying she's been holed up in her room. I tried to offer support, and back off when necessary. After two weeks of not seeing and barely hearing from her, I asked point blank if she thought there was a future, and she told me she was upset about me getting handsy and the text I'd sent her, but beyond that, she was just stressed out. She told me she felt pushed, even though it wasn't necessarily anything I did.

I told her I was going to listen and give her breathing room, and apologized for my transgressions. She thanked me, but also said she hoped we could still chat, as she still wanted to talk to me even though her head was not in a good place.

It's now been three weeks since I lat saw her. She's hanging out with friends and being sociable again, but I still don't see her. I've stopped texting her unless she texts me first, to give her room. I just feel like I'm unsure where her message leaves us. She didn't rule out getting back together, but to me, it seems unlikely.

I think I'm only hurting myself by holding out hope. Part of me also thinks I might be more upset due to hurt pride than actually missing her (although I do definitely miss her). Based on what I've said - is it time to throw in the towel? I feel like continuing to talk to her is just opening me up to more hurt, but I can't tell if it's just me.