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Met a guy, now he's gone away for a year & I'm feeling sick

Published on September 18, 2012 by cestmoi

I've met this guy a couple months ago. We started talking more, seeing each other more often, but then we were just friends (nothing more). I also only saw him just as a friend. While we were seeing each other he told me once that he had plans to go to another country (on the other side of the world). I was happy for him, and ofcourse encouraged him in pursuing his dreams. Back then I did not know that soon I would be developing feelings for him. After a while not knowing what I was feeling, I really really started to like him.. And now it's all over. I'm a mess. He's gone away & I really miss him. It has been over a month now since he went away. In all those 3 months I've only talked to him..maybe 3 times (over text :/) I just don't know what to do now. I feel lost. I was falling for him, and now I feel like I have to stop my feelings.. It just all feels so unnatural. I really don't wanna lose him. Can someone please help me?


Couples managed to keep their relationships going for 3-4 years at a time just through slow letters during World War II, so you know it can be done. It won't be easy, but you can use phone, texts, email, and even old-fashioned letters to keep in touch, keep the relationship going, and even grow it further. My wife (girlfriend at the time) and I kept close via phone calls and (especially) very long letters when I was away from her for months at a time on work assignments.

Get in regular contact with your guy and keep a conversation going. There's no reason you can't admit to him that it took having him gone to make you realize how much he's come to mean to you, and that you'd like to see if he too might wish to see your "just friends" relationship become something more.

If he shares feelings for you, there's no reason you can't keep him in your heart and your email until he returns home in a year. Perhaps you two might be able to arrange a little travel so you can go see him or he can come back to you for a visit.

Good luck

It sounds like you care a lot about this guy. It's understandable that you're feeling heartbroken with him being so far away. Have you asked yourself this question? "What do I really want and what am I willing to risk to get it?". If the answer is a relationship with him, how much are you willing to put yourself out there to see if he feels the same way? What are you willing to do? There's no right or wrong in love. It's just a matter of you looking for the answers within and going with your gut. What do you have to lose?

Best wishes!

Be happy that you didnt invest to much time in this guy. You will adventually move on. Live your life, be happy, and if things are meant to be it will be. THeres nothing really you can do anyways if he is out of the country, so why dwell on it and make yourself miserable? Try doing things that you love to do, go hang out with friends and occupy your time, you will start to think about him less and less, and who knows maybe when he gets back you can rekindle things. Good luck