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Mentions Getting Together But Doesn't Make Plans

Published on February 5, 2012 by scarletred

After a few months of telephone calls and e-mails, an out of town guy visited me in my city and we went on a couple of dates. During those dates, he initiated the talk about wanting a relationship and we both seemed on the same page that we both did. Since then, he e-mails me a few times a week and refers to seeing each other again, but doesn't get down to the business of making concrete plans like he did when he visited me the first time. After much reflection, I've concluded he must have met someone closer to home but is keeping me hanging just in case.

I date other men, but from my side I have a different chemistry with him than the others which keeps me hanging on. My mind says get rid of this guy because he's become a waste of time and energy and letting him act this way makes me feel like a fool. It may also undermine efforts to find someone better. On the other hand, I enjoy our banter and, if he were to visit, I would probably enjoy the visit and maybe things would start to develop more.

What should I do? 


Dear ScarletRed,

You sound like a smart women who is coming to the right conclusion yet having a difficult time letting go. If a guy really wants to be with you, you'll know. His actions and behaviors will match what he says. He'll call you, spend time with you and keep his word. The more time, energy and effort you spend on this guy, the less you're able to focus on creating the love you desire with the right guy.

There are many, many great men out there who do what they say and will treat you with love and respect. Know your worth and settle for more.

Wishing you much love, Janet