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Marriage

Published on August 22, 2013 by trish0011

My husband just told me today that he was never in love with me when we first together, i've never been more hurt in my life. so i asked him if he was in love with me now he said he wants to try but when he got home he said he was. I don't know what to do, I feel so stupid, I'm so in love with him but I feel all these emotions. What should I do?

ANSWERS

I can imagine how hurt you must have been to hear him tell you his truth. And I applaud your courage for listening and asking questions to see how he feels now. That must have been scary.

If you love this man and want to remain in your marriage I would encourage you to do any or all of the following:

1-Seek counseling or coaching or group support to help you move past this pain. You need an unbiased party who can hear your pain and your love for your husband without making him the bad guy.

2-Define for yourself what being loved by this man would need to look like for you. And find out what love looks like to him. Some people define love very differently than we do. When we know how we like to be loved we can ask for what we want. When you know what someone else needs to feel loved you can choose to meet that need or come to the realization that you can't or choose not to.

3-Define the kind of relationship you want going forward and seek help to get you there. If your husband truly does love you now, he'll be willing to support you and him create the kind of marriage that has you both feel loved.

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