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Loveless Marraige with kids..stay or go?

Published on April 7, 2010 by surfgirl

I'm getting more and more unhappy and unsatisfied staying in a loveless marraige with kids. I keep thinking I should stay in it for the kids, but am reading more and more that it is a "sellout". I'm now feeling depression almost setting in on my almost always "bubbly" personality. I find myself becoming attracted to other men, also. I married my polar opposite because he was so mellow and calmed my almost always "upbeat" personality down. Now I'm drivin crazy with my lazy, coach potato, whom smokes pot to make it even worse wondering when my kids will "catch on" to his nasty drug habit.

ANSWERS

My god........this sounds so much like me, and I'm a man!!!!! I have been married for 34 years and I can tell you I wish I had removed myself from the marriage a LONG time ago. But I stayed in it for the kids. I'm miserable. I'm lonely and, more importantly, I feel alone. If you aren't happy today you won't be 10 years from now. I have met so many interesting women that I would prefer to be with. My wife just isn't any fun. We are so opposite it isn't funny. I just lost a woman I was madly in love with because I couldn't commit to her. I have never felt such pain. If you are unhappy with this situation then move on. I just wish i had the guts to!

Staying in an unhappy marriage because of your children honestly isn't doing them any favors. If their parents are unhappy they will be unhappy because they will see it everyday in their home environment. If you honestly do not love your husband and do not feel you ever will at this point and that the marriage is not worth saving, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging what you need and what's best for your children which would be a separation. It might be worth a try to give him a chance to work on these issues that are making you unhappy. At least the drug habit. Have you let him know that you feel he's being a bad influence on the children and you need him to step up as not only a husband but a role model as well? If so and he's unwilling, then it's probably not worth sticking around.

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