0 0


Is This Love Or Lust?

Published on March 5, 2012 by christina10

I've been dating this men for over 2months...hes a nice guy in my eyes but sometimes it just seems thats he's in this realionsip for all the wrong reasons! Like for example we will be having a nice conversation anyday..talking about how much we love each other and normal everyday life things or whatever's on ouR mind we talk about it...but somehow everytime we having a real conversation about how much we love each other nd why we do...he always seems to slide the question " when we going to have sex?" like he always ask's me that and I feel sometimes thats all he wants!!! So if you cant wait for me to have sex when Im ready to have sex with you then what are you really trying to say? Dont get me wrong, im not a vIRGIN but its just that I dont open my legs for just anyone and everybody I do it when the time is right and I really do trust and love that person. So far the only thing I feel for him is that I love him,but it's hard to trust him since he has so many girls he talks to. Im just confuse..becuase im just getting the vibe that he just want me for sex, so he sweet talks his way into me until hes going to get it...and im not giving nothing until Im sure of who he really is. Finally another thing is that when were in the the room together and were kissing, he's trying to unzip my pants or ( turn me on ) when I say No i dont want to have sex he gets like very mAD! He will be mad for like serval days.....isnt that strange..? To me it seems like he aint never had a gf or somthing or maybe he's just always horny?

Idk so thats why im here for help..........! So Please tell me does he really do love me or is this just lust?


For one thing, you can't love someone after only 2 months. Love takes a longer time to grow. At this point, it's called infatuation. Every guy wants sex. It's how they're wired. Always trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong. Your gut is telling you all he wants is sex. Trust your gut. He acts angry for days if he doesn't get what he wants. Is this someone who is worthy of you? He's always talking to other girls. Why not choose someone who doesn't? You are the treasure. You are in the driver's seat. Make the decision that's best for you.

It sounds like you have a lot of respect for yourself, and one of the values you strongly believe in is getting to know who you are dating before you become sexually intimate. If the person you are with now does not hold these same beliefs, then have you already answered your question? Dating is just that--figuring out if you like the person enough to commit to them more. If you find out as you get to know someone they don't fit your values or beliefs and you remain true to them, then you are not staying true to yourself and you may have regrets later or spend time on a relationship that is not going in a healthy direction.

Once two people become sexually active, their body is washed in a love cocktail. It makes you feel like you're falling head over heels in love. This love cocktail that is released whenever you are with/see this person wears off after about 18-24 months. Some people like chasing this high, and when it wears off, then they go on to another relationship. So, you do have to ask the question--is it love or lust? In an honest, open, healthy relationship both people respect and honor one another. Getting mad or angry is not the way to resolve the conflict you're talking about above, it's a passive-aggressive reaction. Another way to look at it--even if you're not thinking of having children for awhile--would be to reframe the question. If you have sex and get pregnant, is this the type of father you'd like for your child? Cut out the emotions. Ask him if he's ready to support a family or what his intentions would be? When you're dating and looking for the guy that is most compatible for you for a long-term relationship, make sure you ask all the hard questions to see if you're compatible not just physically, but emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually as well. If this isn't the guy, then follow your intuition.

All the best to you Christina.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd Mars Venus Coaching Corporate Media Relations

He sounds controlling. You're doing the right thing to make him wait and to see if he's the real thing. Unfortunately it takes a long time to find out if his sweetness is just a short-term con job or if it is truly his nature. Best of luck to you.

"I've been dating this men for over 2months...hes a nice guy in my eyes but sometimes it just seems thats he's in this realionsip for all the wrong reasons!" THAT said it all. He has given you the red flags. He does not want to wait on you. He wants to tell you what you want to hear so that you can give him what he wants. I would not suggest being alone with him kissing anymore. It sounds like he has a bit of a temper and I am afraid that he may try to force you into something.