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love break up

Published on July 28, 2014 by mandy13

I just got out of a five month relationship but ive known him since middle school. he was there for for everything bought me clothes he wanted to help me financially he payed a trip to Nevada so I can see it and I can meet his mom and famiy. everything was perfect but onece we left Nevada and came back to Miami he changed I mean I knew he had adhd but his monster side started coming out. he started disrespecting me he threatened me once with a tazer while we had an argument after I found out a girl messaged him from badoo a dating site, I forgave him. I thought I could handle it one night I told him I need to know if he you love me and he looked at me in the eyes and said I never loved you and never cared. I just don't understand how everything was fine but then he changed. he said he wasn't comfortable with me which is a lie he opened up to me cried infront of me, and he said he doesn't have time to talk to a girl or a relationship but now hes talking a friend of mine and she knows what happened but it just bothers me im hurt. and its hard to sleep and wake up realizing how things randomly changed. what do I do?

ANSWERS

Mandy,

You do not want to be in a relationship with someone who is unstable and potentially abusive. There are plenty of equally-awesome men out there who will treat you properly and give you the mature, relationship you deserve. It's time to move on, and leave him in the past.

You also have the right to ask your friend to stop talking with this guy. If she's truly a friend, she'll respect this request and you can put this man in the past and move forward to a new, healthier relationship.

Best of luck!

-Brad Browning Relationship Breakup & Coach www.BradBrowning.com

I am sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like you are very young and this is one of your first serious relationships. Unfortunately, many young guys are simply not mature enough for serious relationships until they are older. I have no doubt that he cared/cares for you at one time, but I seriously question his commitment to you. Perhaps he felt he couldn't handle a serious relationship and bolted. I really hope that you stop tormenting yourself with the "What If's" because you may Never know what caused him to flip the way he did. What you DO know is that he is mistreating you, and that is not fair or healthy. He's just not mature enough for you. You deserve better. If and When he comes crying back, remember how hurt he has made you feel for no good reason and be strong. There are LOTS of other guys out there who will treat you much better than this. I know the first heartbreak feels like you will never get over it- but YOU WILL!!! Take care of yourself first and foremost

What you do is leave this relationship behind you and never look back. Consider it a bullet dodged. I understand that you felt you had a gem but in truth he seems like an ass. Taking off the rose colored glasses and getting out of the mindset of the potential that you felt was between you two and getting INTO the business of seeing and hearing this man for who he is showing himself to be right now is rather important. Most do not do such a 180 so make no mistake there is a reason why he is suddenly entertaining his inner ass. But the question is whether you feel the need to understand that and if it really matters. I offer a wonderful personality profile that will help you to understand the mask he wore and why and who he is behind it. Might help you with understanding the man as he is wholly.

Best, Laura Brown http://www.yourtango.com/experts/LauraBrown

Mandy,

RUN do not walk! This guy is unstable and abusive. You deserve someone who cherishes and adores you. There are so many really wonderful men who would love to have a beautiful, smart, talented woman like you be their partner.

Sometimes people change. His behavior reminds me of someone who drinks a lot, is doing drugs or steroids. You don't need that kind of garbage in your life.

You say that you've known he has ADHD, but it seems like there's more to it. His behavior is escalating. That means that at one point he's going to cross the line and hurt you physically. You're already being emotionally battered. That's not cool. You may have a history with him - but that's what he needs to be - History.

Really this isn't about him. It's about YOU. You are the one being picked on, disrespected and threatened. You have an opportunity to love yourself enough to say, "I deserve more and I'm going to get it for myself." This is an opportunity to discover why you would put up with that kind of crappy behavior for even a second. A good counselor can help you move through this and come out the other side even stronger. You get to be in charge of your life and create exactly what you want.

Leave and don't look back. There's a big world out there for you to explore and play in. You don't need any guy to validate you. Find out what makes you laugh. Find out what you absolutely LOVE to do. Find out what makes your heart sing and what new adventures are just waiting for you to discover. You are strong and smart and beautiful. Use those gifts and talents make your life really special.

You said his "monster side came out". Why are you questioning? And do you really want the answer. Maybe he was on a functional druggy high. I'd move on to the next!

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