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Lost in love...

Published on September 21, 2013 by confusedsoul

My partner and I have been together for 8 years, in sep 2011 I found out about his infidelity, he had been cheating on me since 2009 with one girl and from feb 2011 with another. They ended immediately and he begged to keep me. Done everything u could imagine, cried, begged, wined and dined me. I loved him and we had 2 boys and a 4 week old baby girl (I was hormonal from preg too). I had to drag the information from the girls, he never once held his hands up and said this is what happened, I was still discovering things in jan 2012. I then become suspicious of a girl and in may I found out they were contacting each other secretly on social media and worked together. He admitted he thinks something would of eventually happened but it hadn't. August 2012 and he leaves me because I'm so controlling and don't let him move. I bully him apparently and I'm fake and don't try with the relationship. He came back after 10 days (after still chasing me during this time) but is different with me. Very distant, no hugs and kisses, no 'I love you', he's stopped being a sex pest and when we have had sex he's not completely hard, and has had to stop a couple of times like he's really struggling to enjoy it. He does say it's me he wants, he tells me I'm his soul mate and love of his life but only in texts. He's also told me that he's depressed and has had horrible thoughts. Do you think how he's acting is because of how he's feeling mentally? A few people have said his guilt is eating him up. I want to be there and help him but I'm not sure if our relationship is worth fighting for? Thanks in advance x

ANSWERS

What about you? Where are you in all this? What do YOU want? If he's cheated, he'll likely cheat again. It means there is something he gets from the cheating -- a boost to the ego, the excitement of a fantasy life, etc. What are you getting from this relationship? If it doesn't serve you, move on ... FAST. Every second you stay with someone who doesn't absolutely adore and appreciate you is time you AREN'T spending on finding someone who does! His issues are HIS issues. He is responsible for his life. Alternately, you are responsible for YOURS. Be strong and give your kids a great role model at the same time.

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