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Looking for your thoughts & advice

Published on November 12, 2013 by silvertipwolf789

Years ago, I fell in love with the love of my life, thing is, she has since told me, that she was scared of being with me, she thought she was not "good enough" for me. So, she told me of someone she used to know, and wanted to see if there was still something there with this other guy. The time I spent with her, was the hottest and most wonderful time of my life. Well, now after many years have come & gone, she found me, and we are writing each other. Thing is, she is married again, yet tells me she is still madly in love with me, and wants to be with me, and me alone. In my heart, I would love to spend the rest of my life with this woman, yet, at times I feel guilty that should she leave the man she is married to now, I would be at fault for breaking up a home/family. She has the voice of an angel, I still love her, and we used to sing together, entertained for a living together. I am at a loss as to what to do, for both sides of what I have written above, are in my heart.
I am open to read your thoughts and suggestions on this, perhaps I can find the right path by doing so . . . .

ANSWERS

Dear Silvertipwolf789,

The right path is to say goodbye as long as she's married. As you said, you don't want to be responsible for breaking up a home. She is married, as in not available. Already being in contact and confessing her love is having an emotional affair.

I know you are deeply infatuated with her and long for you once had. However, the cold hard truth is that despite her confessions of love for you, she chose to leave you to explore another relationship, and now is married to someone else. You need to give up the ghost of what was and accept what is.

Keeping in touch with her while she's married will only prevent you from truly moving on, and will likely continue to grow into a deeper level affair. I know it's hard, but the right thing to do is to walk away. Don't break up a family.

If she decides to leave her marriage on her own, let it be for the right reasons, because the relationship wasn't right; not because she cheated on him with you. Don't string yourself along. She made her choice, she has to live with it. Don't accept contact from her. Cut it off so you can both move on.

-YourTango Expert

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