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Looking for Advice
I'm a collage sophomore. I've known this girl for about 9 months now. I've really liked her since I met her and we developed a very special relationship. She isn't the type to get really close with guys. However, my case was different. I started to develop feelings for her and after about 5 months I finally was ready to ask her if she wanted to take our relationship to the next level. Surprisingly, she came up to me first and told me that she our feelings weren't mutual. I absolutely did not see that coming since one of her very close friends encouraged and supported me to take the step by asking her out, and told me about how much she talks about me when I'm not there... etc
I tried to find a reason for that sudden rejection. I thought that maybe at that time, she was just out of a 3 year relationship and maybe she wasn't ready to start a new one yet.
I did not give up. My feelings were too strong to let go. After what happened we gave each other space. We then had a talk about it and agreed to not make things awkward since both of us are close friends. We started hanging out again and I gradually returned to hinting how special she is to me. Recently, I started to feel that she doesn't mind that. She also started treating me differently and we became even closer. Unlike the first time, she is not giving me any hint that "no, nothing will happen between us." She also isn't giving me a signal that something "will actually happen." I know that she trust me more than anyone else. I'm the only one she tells all her personal problems to. She always tells me how I'm that only one in her life to know certain things about her, and that there is no way I'd make her mad or depressed. Basically, she treats me like no other guy in her life. I started to notice small signs coming from her. For instance, she calls all her close guy friends as "bro" or "brother." However, she never called me that even though I'm the closest among them, and so on.
I know I probably yapping a lot. Honestly, it's been forever since I got my complicated thoughts about this topic out of my system. So, here is the case ..
I'm willing to try again. But I'm too afraid of rejection. I know that if I did get a second "no" from her, its going to be final. I also know that there is no way my feelings towards her would vanish. I see her every single day, and its almost impossible to just forget about her. Therefore, I having second thoughts about it. I'm clueless of what to do. I'm too afraid to lose her, and I am too afraid to take the leap. I thought that I should wait for a clearer signal. Yet, I'm sick of waiting. 9 months is too long. Heck, some relationships don't even last that long. Honestly, I dont mind waiting as long as I find a way to know for sure that she does have feelings for me but she is not ready yet to start the relationship. I wouldn't mind waiting at all.
Now that I look back at what I wrote, I really did yap a lot. So I'm going to stop right here, and thank you in advance for any piece of advice that might help me with my situation.