YOUR VOTE0 1
longterm and confused
OK So I'm 30 and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my man for over a decade, and overall the relationship is great - he's my best friend and the sex is great. Except he (more and more) often mentions how great it'd be to have two girlfriends, and he most often mentions this when we're having sex - which makes me go cold. We've talked about how this makes me feel, lots - it makes me feel uneasy. I'm not against the idea of a threesome, as long as we all benefit - but he's got issues with any girls I become friends with that "seem like lesbians," and he's has made it clear that his real fantasy is that the other girl and I are really all about him. I'm doubtful that I'm even Bi, for that matter.. I'm super attracted to guys.. Everyone has a right to having their own fantasy though and I get that. He mentions other girls a lot, tells me in detail about every random conversation he has or girl he thinks is cute. It's driving me crazy - I have a lot going on right now - just started my Masters and have to move; he's going to start a program that "makes him mysterious to the girls" and we'll likely be long distance for up to a couple of years. Some days we're so close that sometimes its like we're the same person, and we enjoy that too but know that time apart will be super healthy. He says he's cool if I sleep with other guys, if thats what I "need to do" because I have sex-guilt issues from when I was younger... I want to be open minded but I keep getting hurt by the frequent talk and I just don't have the time or energy to deal with this. How can I make this work for both of us?