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Legally, I'm jailbait. Age is but a number...right?

Published on May 10, 2009 by liebling

Due to emotional and mentally trying times with my mother, I've always gravitated towards men- especially older men- more than women, in terms of friendship and romanticism. However: How old is too old? I can tell you now, I'm a 15 year old cancer survivor who has her life (and thankfully her hair) back, along with a domineering mother who seeks to use my past ailments as an excuse to keep me shut up from the world. This has led me to try and find a lover- someone to talk with...however, the age gaps are quite large. So far the oldest person I've dated has been 18 years my senior, and though we seperated, we still speak and converse as good friends. I've dated military men, chefs, college students, and even a coroner, ages ranging from 18 to 33. My online correspondents tell me that I'm crazy, and that I have a pension for pedophiles- to which I say, "Not at all." These men- they view me as an adult for vocabulary, maturity, and life experience- not as an adorable little school girl in a jumper and uniform. So, in regards to my age and that of my past experiences- How old is too old? Any and all responses would be greatly appreciated- thank you!

P.S.- I am fully aware of statutory rape laws and the like, as well as the prowess in safety and such. I never go anywhere private with an older man, and all contact we have limits to kissing.

ANSWERS

considering the fact that you are 15, i would say that you should stick to guys 19 and below. i do admire you for all that you have been through in your life, and i thoroughly believe that it will and probably already has, made you a stronger person. i cant blame older men for looking at you on a much more mature level, however, i find it hard to believe they dont think of the school girl in the jumper fantasy more often that you would like to believe. just be safe, and be careful in whatever you do, and i have no doubt that life will work out for you.

I would stick within the legal limits of the state in which you reside. The most torturous thing that could happen would be for your romance to turn into criminal charges, especially after how you've described your mother. In the state I live in, the age of consent is 16 for sex. So, if your state laws are similar, then you could very well have a man charged with statutory rape and forever be a sex offender. Since 18 is legal age in most states, I would stick to 18 and under - at least until you're 18. Nonetheles, I work in law enforcement and you do have to be careful especially when you're talking to older men online. I was sought after by many ped's when I was your age and online. So, just because you think that they're into you because of your intelligence and maturity...it doesn't always mean that they actually are..since many/most ped's are very manipulative. I'd try to find someone in school or church or someone local that you can confide in at least until you've aged a little more for legal purposes in the least.

Stick to boys around your age. Older men usually only want one thing in a significantly younger woman. Be careful sweetheart, the world is cruel.

I agree with everyone and what they've said so far. Please listen to them.

I would add one more thing - what you really need is love from an older man that has nothing to do with sex. You're not going to get it by dating guys. You need to look around for men who care about you for you - an uncle, a teacher, a teen community leader.

I think you might also benefit from some adult women role models right now, too.

No way is age just a number!

I too had a terrible relationship with my mother. I began having sex at 13. By the time I was 20 I had had more sex partners than many women have ever! I had multiple brief relationships that led me to devalue myself even further.

When I finally did learn to get serious it led to 2 horrible relationships that destroyed numerous friendships. Along the way I cam to learn that I was replacing the unconditional love I was missing with harmful habits.

Don't wait until you have destroyed your life and reputation. Get real help from a counselor. Someone at your school or local health department should be able to point you in the right direction.

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