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Published on October 31, 2012 by hazel

How to deal with in-laws.


     I've always felt my sister -in-law has kept me at a distance since I married. She looks uncomfortable if I hold hands with my husband while watching TV. When she calls, she will say "I want to speak with my brother" if I should answer the phone. When my father-in-law suffered a tragic event,  my husband and I flew  to visit him in the ICU. She told my brother I should not be there. She most recently finds ways to follow us around on the weekends; this includes her driving 3 hours to our house so he can remove a splinter in her finger. At our house , even if the three of us are in the same room, it is not unlike her to stand right next to my husband , speak in a low voice to exclude me from conversation as she discusses anything related to 'their family.'   Don't think she will ougrow this as she is in her mid 50s. I want to limit my time around her to keep my stress levels low.   Why do you think she behaves like this?


In short - she's nuts.

If I had to guess at details, I'd put my money on her being jealous over the attention you "stole" from her when you married her brother.

If she's been doing this for years, she won't outgrow it - either grow a thicker skin or start laying down and enforcing some boundaries with both her and your husband.

It's your husband's responsibility to straighten out his sister, not yours.

Have a clear talk with him. Let him know that [HTML_REMOVED]he is allowing her[HTML_REMOVED] to treat you badly. Tell him that he's your man and you expect him to stand up for you. This is his responsibility. When he got married, he made the decision to put his wife ahead of his family.