YOUR VOTE0 0
Lacking of instinctive protective manner of a man is normal ?
i would love to get one of your precious ideas about my love life i tried to describe below.
i have a question and if i cant solve them , it will affect my decision about the marriage. i need to give examples but first write short info about me and boyfriend: i live in istanbul Turkey,he lives in Toronto. we met there 2 years ago i lived there for a year and we are an 'online couple' for 1 year since i m back to my city. he visited me once and i visited him once after my move from TO but we skype everyday.
- i spend my time with my friends out day or night and some of my guy friends who have feelings towards me and my bf knows about my guy friends who like me as well. when i tell about my daily life with friends- i dont go too far and tell everything , (ie. my friend has bought me a ticket for the movie), he feels the truth and directly says 'that guy likes you' with a smile on top of it and he doesnt even show any reaction to me that i shouldnt go with him or he has no facial expression that he s annoyed from the situation that im surrounded buy guys who have a crush on me . he just lets me go with them. is he not bothered at all that someone is trying to flirt with me? or doesnt he think it s possible that i can flirt with them too?is it not a ''must'' thing for man to have this masculine attitude and to show he is caring, 'protecting' and 'possessing' his girl? how can a man not ask his girl what time she will be home and who will be around her during the night ? is it called lack of love as well? or a sign he is not that serious?
he was showing the same careless reaction when i was in Toronto too. so its not about something hard to control from a distance. this is his nature. he is okay if im out with my friends and someone is there too who likes me. he only says that i shouldnt be alone and hang out in private with the man who likes me.it is better to have other friends with me too .( by the way, im not into going out that much. all these things are to see how his reactions will be and to show that im an in demand girl !!) . i wouldnt want him to get jealous and act like a macho rude guy trying to prevent me from going out with friends but wouldnt get offended if he told he is bothered with the situation as it is natural right to say and i would definitely respect him and would feel he is My Man and Mr Right for me .
he is aware of the fact that i m surrounded by men who like me and says he feels lucky that i have chosen him to be my boyfriend. thats a good thing to know he values me but ... that missing part.. lack of possession?
It was awkward but i shared my idea (cause this kind of events i experience alot) that he is lacking of possessing his girl. he says 'i trust you'.
i think its something different and is more than a trust in order to know if your partner is safe in the place or if she safely arrives home or she is not dealing the stalkers or crazy boys who want to hit on her. if i were a man who is serious to get married, at least i would say to stay away from them please. i wouldnt want my prospective husband having a lack of instinctive protection mechanism :(
and i put himself into his shoes too. if we exchanged the roles, i would definitely be annoyed by the situation that he s surrounded with the girls who like him and i would say he shouldnt talk to them if not necessary(for business reasons). he should know and respect me that i might get hurt in the end. the other thing i wouldnt want him to say to me that he doesnt interfere my friend life so i shouldnt do it too? Is it what hes indirectly trying to imply? might this happen in the future if i move to To for him?pls ask me if im not clear with my expression. Thank you so much for the help