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Keep going on or leave it?

Published on January 5, 2012 by alecra

I met this guy on Dec 2010 in an office. We realized that we have feelings for each other, and we owned up for it. However, I have many things on my mind that I can't accept him as my lover...for now. He's a year older than me, but he hasn't had a steady career yet. We live in culture in which a man play role as a leader of family and has a steady economy on his own. People who have the same age as mine can't just going out with anyone she likes, in other word, I have to start to get serious to pick up someone as my boyfriend with all the considerations. I know that my parents want the best for their children (and I believe most parents will do too) and I can't blame them for it... remembering I will be a parent too someday.

\What is the problem? We come from different economy background. It doesn't matter where he come from actually, but his family background shows that they aren't quiet able to make an above-average of life-style. They came from suburbs and rent a small house in this town, they have to gain income painstackingly, and live a very simple life-style. That's why, I can't introduce him as my lover in front of my parents. I don't wanna hurt my parent by insisting him as my lover with such a condition. I try hard to be realistic and won't let my feeling controls me more.

He wanna find a better job with better income, and I still encourage him doing it. I don't look for a rich guy, but I prefer someone who is diligent, has a passion for working, and independent both personally and financial.


Well, some friends of mine gave advice that I should get it over because if I get it too far, it'll hurt me so much.

Deep in my heart, I hope he'll get a better life and economy condition that could convince my parents and show them that he's independent in terms of financial.

What if he can't make it on time... or should I keep on waiting?


Nobody can tell you how long to wait. That also depends on whether or not you want to have children, and your biological clock is ticking. Has he ever mentioned marriage to you. If so, do you two have the same life goals? Make a pros and cons list of staying with him, even if things don't improve, or leaving. There are no guarantees in life. What if you get married and he loses his good paying job? It's important to choose someone with a high work ethic, but with this economy, you can't always get the job you want. If you break up with him, there's no guarantee you'll meet a high income man who will also be a good partner in other ways. These are things for you to think about. Good luck.

Hi Safire, thanks for answering :) Well, i hope to get married someday... personally, he is my best right now. I guess our journey is still far away to decide to get married. What we focus on now is knowing each other. Moreover, I don't think he's confident enough to meet my family with his condition. I ever think about getting married with him, living in a small house, building a happy family in which we support each other and share things. However, I'm just being pessimist when it comes to my family's opinion.

We gonna live 'present-time', and do our best to make it... :) Well, thanks anyway.