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I've recently married a Chinese man (from Fujian province) and need some advice on handling my mother in law

Published on April 27, 2009 by bec44ca

I live in Macau with my new husband and his mother lives fairly nearby. I am American and used to very independent parents; his mother and father seem to expect me to call them every day and go to dinner more often than I am comfortable with. I want to maintain a good relationship with them, but keep my own independence and not let them interfere too much in our marriage.

Any advice?


I am an American living and workign in China for 9+ years. I have studied chinese customs and traditions intensely. I have alot of Chinese friends. Of both sexes of various ages. One thing that is for sure. The daughter in law is absolutely expected to care for the husbands parents. Perhaps this is a surprise to you. I hope not. I am not sure jsut how tradtional you new family is. But, you could be in for a lot of work. The mother in law is going to be hard to please. No matter how hard you work and filial toward them you are, it will not be as much as she did for her in laws when she was in your spot. They will scold your husband about this. They will not likely be very direct and criticize you at first. But, you can be sure he will hear about it. Good luck.