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Is it unrealistic to ask a man to wait until marriage for sex?

Published on September 2, 2009 by spunkybookchic

I have always said I'm waiting until I get married to have sex. That's my personal choice. My boyfriend recently proposed and I said yes. I found out the other day that he is expecting us to have sex now that we are engaged. I reminded him that I would still like to wait until we are married. His response was for me to buy stock in KY. It's not that I think sex is dirty or wrong. I became a Catholic right before my 21st birthday, I am 23 now. I went to a Catholic grade school, high school and college. I remember making the promise to myself and God that I would wait until I'm married to have sex. I am wondering am I wrong to ask him to wait? I told him on our 2nd or 3rd date, and numerous times since that I'm waiting for marriage. I'm to the point now that I may tell him to find someone else, if he's not willing to wait for me.

ANSWERS

As you said, it's YOUR personal choice, NOT his. THere is so much emphasis put on having sex now, it's rediculous. I guess that's part of the downfall of having such a depraved culture. My fiance and I are waiting for marriage before we do it, and we're not the only ones that I know who have waited.
Bottom line: if he can't respect your decision...then he can respect your feet when you boot him to the curb.

Well that's how it is in many Asian nations, no sex happens until marriage. Little weird in a sexually independent world. But that's how it is! And it ain't unrealistic altogether. That might tell you more about how compatible you both are. Since the two of you are turning toward a long term commitment, sex can still wait a bit in the bedroom until you are married. No harm! After all, a relationship ain't just all about sex. It's how well you and your partner know, understand and accommodate each other. It does not have to be, what he wants, all the time. He must comply too, to what comforts you.

No, its not unrealistic. Respect and trust are so important in a marriage and if he cannot respect this decision then you need to rethink your relationship with him. Don't let him push you around and manipulate you. This is your boundary, he needs to respect it.

Not only wait, but as Lyz was saying, start questioning wether he is really the right guy to be with.

He may have some great qualities, and perhaps he was joking with the KY comment, but you've been straightforward with him from the get go, so it isn't like he doesn't know the score.

Its never unrealistic to maintain your personal boundaries on anything. Its unrealistic for him to continue to try and push against those boundaries knowing full well what they are and believing that he will still have your trust.

You're right... sighs, but many of us have failed in this regard. May God strengthen you to keep it going!!!! Don'r mind your horny BF, tell him to wait or get married quick!

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