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Is it Need or Love?

Published on November 6, 2010 by needit5555

I have fallen in love with a girl, she tells me she loves me too. I'm trying to figure out if she is in love with me or if she thinks she loves me because she needs me. She works and is able to take care of her basic needs. I on the otherhand am lucky enough to be in a good financial position. I have been able to give her gifts and pay for trips so that she can visit her relatives at a time of need. Also, I'm assisting/mentoring her to get ahead in her career. Given all that I do, I don't want her feelings for me to because she needs me. I asked her about this and she assured me that she loves me and not that she needs me. Its hard for me to get this out of my mind, how can I make sure? She insists her feelings for me are love and genuine. Do I just stop giving any gifts or anything having to do with financially to see how she reacts? Is there anything else? I need to know if she truely loves me or if she only needs me. Btw, she is 25 and I'm 15 y.o older.


I would say that you should ease up on the gifts and thiings like that. You don't have to buy her things to show that you love her. Time is the most precious thinig that you can devote to someone that you love. If she asks why you've stopped with the gifts, just tell her that you are able to express your love in other ways. The fact that you're taking the time to mentor her should be an indicator for her (if she's smart).

As for the trips, I would ease up on that, too. I'm not denying the importance of family, but if she didn't have you to help her, would she have made a way for herself to go see these relatives? She needs to be an independent woman and remain that way. She shouldn't lose her independence just because she's in a relationship.