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Is my sister dating a bad person?

Published on January 10, 2014 by mark18

Hi. Can someone give me some advice please. My sister started dating a guy, I did not have a problem with him at first, but when she told me more about him, I have come to dislike him and I don't think she should be dating him.

The problem is that he was dating a girl for 10 years, but when he started a new job and started going out with his new work friends, his then girlfriend did not want to join him, and if she did, she would not talk much(I've been told that she has always been somewhat of an introvert).

From my understanding the ex girlfriend had been under a lot of stress due to research she was doing. I believe she is some sort of immune diseases specialist.

So as the girlfriend was under a lot of pressure from work, he advised her that she she should go and see a doctor to help her with her stress, the doctor put her on drugs, anti depressant I believe, maybe other stuff as too.

He told my sister that most of the problems started after he started working at his new job because he wanted to be more social with his new work mates and his girlfriend did not.

So after dating her for 10 years, and where the girlfriend was thinking about marriage and kids( he said this) he decided to break up with her and now 8 months later he is dating my sister and does not have any contact with the ex girlfriend anymore because she has become even more depressed. I believe she moved back in with her family. And he is acting like the man without a care in the world going out dating and having fun.

So please tell me what you think of this guy and if you would date him, and what would you say to your sister if she was dating him? Please be as detailed as you want to be, or just give one word replies as to what you think of this person. I want to show her what other peoples views are because she think that I am just being overprotective.

Thank you

Mark.H

ANSWERS

I'm a firm believer in judging people based on how they are in the present, not what they have done in the past. That being said...is he good to your sister? Does he treat her right?

Does the issue of his ex concern you because she is depressed and he's cut off contact with her? That's not necessarily a bad thing...plus we don't really know the details of their relationship and break up. Maybe her depression and the resulting behaviors caused a lot of unnecessary drama in his life and ceasing contact was his way of establishing boundaries with her and allowing him to focus his energies on your sister rather than his ex.

Make sense?

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