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Is it just sex, or something more?

Published on January 18, 2013 by leighlalola

I have a very complicated relationship with the guy I lost my virginity to. Well, maybe it's not so complicated. I've had strong feelings for him since long before that happened, and it's four years later and I'm still into him. Long story short, we hook up rarely (a couple times a year) but its always amazing and never awkward. He also does things like tell me that I'm amazing, send me emails if things that remind him of me, says he wants to meet my family, and always responds to my texts. But we've never actually dated. I have zero idea how he feels about me. Now I've moved on to grad school and want to start a new life, but I can't move on relationship wide because of the possibility that he might actually care about me. Am I being played? Should I tell him how I feel? Or just move-on?


Coming together on such a minimal basis is not a great foundation for a relationship. How is it that you've been tied to him for so long with little interaction and no conversation has come up about going beyond friends with benefits? That is the deal he has going with you presently, he just hasn't said it out loud, his actions do it for him.

It's great that he sends you romantic emails and professes to wanting to meet your family, but why hasn't he? If he's always responding to your texts, then you should take the matter of moving forward as an actual couple by calling him. Meeting face to face and having such a talk would be even better! If you get the feeling that he is as interested in you as you are in him, then why not take the risk and speak up? Life is too short waiting, wondering, and being hopeful.

If you want to be with him, then say so. However he may respond, at least you will know and can either move on with or without him. Take a chance!