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Is husband looking to cheat??
My husband and I have been together for 14 years. Married for 7. We have 3 kids together between 12 and 4 years. I just recently found out he has joined some online dating/sex sites and just today added photos of himself to them. (shirtless at that) he does say on them that he is married, but checks the box saying he's looking for a "casual affair" or "something more". And has been looking through craigslist at the personal ads for w4m. He has not responded to any of the craigslist ones (yet) but I do believe he has just started chatting on the free sites to a couple women. No phone numbers or anything as of yet. I do have access to email and phone records, so I do know that much so far. This has kind of taken me out of left field. We were fine, I thought. We've always had a very good sex life, I've had friends comment about how jealous they've been about how great we interact with each other compared to their relationships. and are very open with each other about trying new things or what not. I have noticed him lately a little different. He's always playing this war game on his phone. And I mean ALWAYS with his phone in his face. Or playing a online computer game. ALOT. I've brought it up to him and tried to talk about when I'm at work, and he's on the computer, and our youngest whos not in school is just watching tv while daddy had head phones on playing on the computer. She asks him to play with her, and he responds "im in the middle of a game" and even when that ones over, doesn't play with her. just starts another game. Up until a few months ago, he would talk to me about his brother who does the same thing, and how wrong he thinks it is thats he just ignores his kids while on the computer. If I mention it though, I'm nagging, or i'm taking away something he enjoys and I never let him do anything, i'm trying to control him, blah blah. He is active, he joins vollyball leagues, softball leagues, flag football leagues, but yet I get told im being controlling not letting him do anything. To that I feel, we have 3 kids, 2 in baseball, which just started and between them is almost something every day of the week, and school for 2, homework, and I do my best to let him join his kids around their things, but I feel like he needs to remember he is a husband and a father of 3, sometimes he needs to slow down on everything he wants to do because we are an active family. Back to the dating thing, this has happened before. He's made profiles, searched for people on facebook, even was talking and texting some girl that was a customer from his job that he met once. I always catch him, he always apologizes and swears it will never happen again, but give it about a year, and it does. I honestly dont think it has gone all the way with anyone, but maybe that because i caught it too soon? the girl he was texting and talking to, they did talk about meeting up a few times, but they never did. If I have an issue trusting him, he throws the "D" word at me, and says if I can't trust him, then what's the point of us? I try, and I do eventually trust him again, but it seems like as soon as I do, he does something like this again. I guess I should throw in there, he's been quite the porn watcher some what recently too. I've never had a problem with it. he knows that I don't care, if it's with me, and not behind my back a secret and deleting web history. If I bring it up to him about the sites, he will lie. no matter what the evidence I have, he'll lie. and keep it up for as long as he feels he can all while being pissed at me for "spying". The more I type this, the more stupid I know I sound. Red flags everywhere, right? I don't want to be "stupid wife" and know that I probably am. I also know and am scared that I couldn't afford to just leave with my part time job and 3 kids after being a stay at hom mom for 10 years. And there is no family on my side. He has a big one, but I cant talk to them. They're his family, and they have said in the past that it's our problems and they want to stay out. Is any of this bad? Am I over reacting? I just need some kind of advice. Sorry for jumping all over the place, I was trying to fill in as many details as I could without writing too much of a novel, trust me, it could be MUCH longer. Thanks.