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Is he no longer into me?

Published on July 18, 2013 by rchanelle

Just a little back story..I met this guy 3 years ago but he had a gf so I never even tried to initiate anything. Based on our brief meeting and his posts on social networks he appeared to be a really great guy with a future and loving bf..but obviously you have to get to know someone to really know who they are. He and his gf broke up about 3 months ago and we began talking 2 months ago. I’m interested in a graduate program at the university he attends and that’s how I initiated contact through facebook and twitter. He gave me his number first and expressed excitement about seeing me multiple times and also told me he thought I was beautiful multiple times.

So, I visited his school last Thursday. I was in a car accident and didn’t get settled in my hotel until 9 that night. I was still a little emotional more so from dealing with my dad after the wreck than the wreck itself (my dad is tactless we’ll leave it at that) but I didn’t want that to let that get in the way of our time together. We talked for about 2.5 hours, sharing common interests/life goals/flirting/joking. He held my hand and would look at me a certain way while I talked (idk how to describe but it was a cross between intense interest and visible attraction I guess). He never tried to even kiss me even though we were both on the bed. I then joked that he was going to fall asleep if he wasn’t careful, to which he responded back, jokingly as well, that if he did he was spending the night. I said if he wanted to he could…(I just wanted to be’d been a long day and I haven’t been with anyone for 2 years). I knew if he did stay he’d try something but I promised myself I’d stay strong and say no.

He went to his place to go get his toothbrush and I changed into my pjs (a long sleeve tshirt and shorts). He got back and we cuddled up in bed and began watching a movie. After awhile he turned off the TV and kisses my forehead goodnight, I say goodnight back. He asks for a kiss, I gave him one but it turned into making out. I stopped him and said goodnight again but he had no intention of sleeping at that point. I stopped him again and sat up. He stared back and I asked him if he was over his gf, he said yes. I asked if he was ready to move on, he said yes. I said idk if I could trust him, he asked why, I said because I wasn’t sure if he was really over his gf, he said he really was. I asked if this meant he wanted to see where this could go between us, he said yes. He then asked me if I wanted to see where this goes, and I said yes. I told him I just didn’t want to get hurt, he said he didn’t wanted to get hurt either. Kissing ensued again and eventually we had sex. Afterwards, we talked some more and finally decided to sleep. He couldn’t fall asleep so I offered to rub his back until he did.

The next morning we woke up and cuddled for awhile, staring into each others’ eye. Finally, he got up to get ready to go to class. I walked him to the door. We hugged, we kissed, he said he’d text me when he got out of his workout at 3. I had a meeting with a professor at 2 and finished around 3. I changed clothes and got food. Then, I text him saying I was getting ready to head home (5 hours away) but I wanted to say goodbye. I tried calling a few times but it kept ringing once and going to voicemail..I assumed the calls weren’t going through but in hindsight I wonder if he was just ignoring them. I waited for about an hour and then hit the road. An hour into my drive back he text me saying he just got home (the night before he said he was supposed to meet his coach at 6am to run but he was going to skip to stay with me and I didn’t tell him I planned on leaving right after I finished my meeting). I told him I already left and he responded with “aww fuck shit”. I said I wished I could’ve stayed answer. I text him when I made it back answer. I text him the next answer. Monday I woke up to see that he no longer followed me on twitter (he had deleted his fb and instagram weeks before) and I assumed he blocked me at some point because I no longer followed him either. I have not heard from him since and have not contacted him since.

So, I guess my question is does this mean he’s no longer interested? Should I try to contact him at some point? Is there something I missed? Did I get played? I'd like to think this isn't a lost cause but I know I should let it go, just looking for affirmation I guess.


As an outsider, I can’t say for sure, but it does sound a little like you got played. At the very least, maybe he realized he wasn't ready to move on after all and you were his rebound girl (never fun, but a pothole of life). I’d let this one pass. If he wasn't man enough to let you down gently, he’s not worth your time.