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Is he breaking up with me?

Published on August 8, 2014 by cherryberry1

So I've been dating this guy for some weeks. We already had sex very early in the relationship. We would text or call almost everyday but suddenly that stop. He didn't reply my text or call. Finally I send him a message about how sad I was that he was ignoring me, he replied that he wasn't ignoring me and that he would call soon. He hasn't called. It has been a week. I tried to call him yesterday night but he didn't answer BUT sent a text right away and said he was busy and would call me back. I really thought he would call today but he hasn't! What is this? I'm going mad! If he's breaking up with me, why does he then answer with I will call you? I can't figure this situation out, I'm so anxious and confused, can you please help me?


So... you aren't going to like this...But I will be honest with you. He has lost interest. As you yourself admit, you had sex very early, and that can be a relationship killer. Many young men will lose interest if the "chase" ends too soon. No it's not fair, and its a double standard, but it is true. If he was really into you, he would be making more of an effort. You wouldn't be needing to contact him and ask him what's up. I get the feeling he is trying to let you down easy, and is afraid of a confrontation with you to explain exactly why he is backing out. He's just not that into you. It only takes a minute to make a phone call- NOBODY is that busy that they cant fit in a 1 minute phone call to someone they care about, especially after they've expressed that they feel ignored. Don't waste your time with this one. Good luck

In coaching we say the "why" questions bring us into rational thinking and we often collapse into victim. Most important would be to ask yourself "How do I feel in regards to his behavior?" and then take action motivated by your values and priorities. You feel hurt about his actions, so you have to move forward by taking your own actions that reflect your self-worth. Here a few suggestions for multiple actions: 1. Find your inner strength and move on 2. Start living your life life he is not part of it (because right now he is not.) 3. Ask yourself what is your responsibility in this fast moving relationship and change YOUR way to operate next time. 4. Focus on yourself and what you need to mend your broken heart.

Take good care of yourself, Monica Magnetti

These days it seems that the "fade out" is the break-up tactic of choice. There could be a few things happening here but first and foremost, STOP calling. If he is in fact just busy then your calling every day or sending over a message is going to make him feel pressured which is a MAJOR way to send him running in the opposite direction. If you check out my blog I cover the top 5 signs that men pull away-I have a feeling many of them will resonate with you. In the interim stop contacting and ask yourself whether you two ever had the "commitment" talk. If not the fade-out is often the males way of ending the connection. Since there was no official commitment they often feel there is no need to "officially" end what was never official to begin with.