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Intimacy with a conservative girl?

Published on December 1, 2012 by a chan

I started seeing a very shy conservative girl recently. We go to college together and we have known each other for more than a year. She actually made the first move by sitting on my lap and asking me to hold her.

A few days into our relationship I kissed her since the signs felt right (We were rubbing noses and our lips were touching in that teasing sort of way). The kiss lasted at least 5 seconds but she suddenly withdrew and said things like "what am I doing", "we shouldn't" etc. and she looked upset. Turns out I'm the first boy she's ever kissed and she's 23 (I'm 25 but I've had a few relationships which I think is quite normal). She said that she wants to continue seeing me but as far as intimacy goes, she just wants to cuddle and doesn't want to kiss or do anything beyond cuddling.

Since exams are coming up we decided to put things on hold and study since we don't want to screw up on finals. We have agreed to talk about our future after finals.

Intimacy isn't everything in a relationship but I think that it is still important and the kiss you get from a girlfriend should be different from the kiss you get from your grandmother. I can totally wait for her, but I don't want to continue if I don't think she'll at least consider third base after seeing each other for 2 months or so (I don't mind waiting longer).

Both of us come from different backgrounds. I'm Asian but I've been living in the US for 10+ years and my parents are open to things like dating outside my race etc. She's a recent immigrant from India and she's only been in the US for about a year and a half and is still adjusting. Her parents are not religious but they are conservative. She said that where she came from, relationships before marriage were essentially forbidden.

She's a very sweet girl and I would like to continue seeing her, but not if there is no chance of being intimate down the line. I know there's a line between being respectful of boundaries and coming on too strong and I'm not looking to just score and pretend to be a "playa", I want a relationship and I'm willing to wait for her, but I would like to know that it's possible to be intimate down the line.

Advice would be much appreciated right now. Thank you for your time.

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