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Is intercourse necessary in a relationship?

Published on March 5, 2010 by lachica

Im a 22 year old virgin, and im dating this 30 yrs old guy. I really like him and its very obvious he is into me too and he continue seeing me eventhough i told him im not sleeping with him and he knows im waiting for marriage. However, he is so busy with his work, working in 2 businesses at the same time. He had an honest conversation with me and he told me that he cannot be in a committed relationship. he doesnt want me to stop seeing other guys because of him, etc...So i told him that i dont mind this because i might be leaving the country in 3 months too, so i have no expectations. we are still seeing each other and i told him he cant be seeing other girls and neither am i seeing other guys. and we are ok with that. he has so much values and respect for me. But is sex the only reason why we cannot be in a relationship? but why would he still see me eventhough he is a very hot guy, he used to model and he can get any girl he wants, why would he come and hang out with me still knowing im not having intercourse with him?he even came the other day we had dinner and he was too tired and we just slept doing nothing, so its not like he is hanging out with me just because he wants some action. i donno what to do and i dont wanna dramatize the whole thing and talk everynow and then about how i feel and stuff..i would have sex with him only if i know he will never leave me but right now id never be able to tell how emotionally attached is him to me and how willing is he to pursue this since we have different religious beliefs.. or should i just forget about it if he told me that he cant be in a relationship with me?

ANSWERS

I'm confused. He said that he can't be in a committed relationship and wants you to see other guys (and let's be clear, this is because he is seeing other girls), you told him you have no expectations (thereby giving him permission to see other women), and then you told him you he can't see anyone else but you? That makes no sense at all. He likes you and he enjoys your company. That is why he is dating you. But he is a man who doesn't believe in marriage before sex and is seeing other women (who he has sex with). He told you he won't commit to a relationship, so there should be no surprise to you that this is going on. If you aren't on the same page when it come to sexuality, you can't really demand him to be abstinent just because you are when he already pretty much told you he isn't willing to commit to you. You are right not to have sex with him if your beliefs are not to be with someone who you aren't sure is going to stick around (this guy hasn't given you any reason to think that he will). But don't have any expectations from him. Sex is an important part of building a relationship because it brings closeness and emotional bonding. However, if you want to abstain until marriage, you should do that but you will probably have to find someone who shares your beliefs. I think it would be unlikely that someone who doesn't share that belief would want to marry you without ever having sex with you beforehand.

number one hes too old, hes probably so happy he found some young like you.... if you do stay with him you should still save your gift till after you get married.. i'm one too and every girl is going crazy to take it away from me..

hello there..well we are having the same situation..but my boyfriend is older than me im 22 and his 20,well he asked me of im ready with that thing,coz he said our relationship become more stronger if we will do it..but i said no coz love is different with lust girl,if she really love you she will respect you,and shes too old for you..sex is done by marriage couple only tell that to him ok..and he will understand,dont ever give it unless you married ok?

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