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Published on July 25, 2012 by perud

I am having trouble with my new girlfriend. We both want to make love but I feel inhibited and cant get a full erection (not a physical issue). I feel intimidated or afraid of not fulfilling her. (she is very sexy too). Quite frustrating. Anything I can do?


  1. Let her take the lead - if you can get it up when a pretty and enthusiastic naked woman goes down on you, you're not inhibited - you're dead.

  2. Use reverse psychology. Get naked with her and make out but consciously try to NOT get an erection.

  3. Get a prescription for Viagra or one of the other boner pills.

  4. Get a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication like Valium (fast acting) or Wellbutrin or Buspar (require a few weeks to build up in your system)

Performance anxiety is a very common issue among men for the very issues you described. That fact that she is your girlfriend means you have already won her over with more than just sex. What that means is that your erection is only 25% of your experience, the rest is about you. Women want to feel special, and you clearly want to make her feel special, so go with that. Talk about that you want to please her so much that you are concerned (don't say afraid) you may not fulfill her desires. If your approach is sweet and gentle, I promise that if she is worthy of your care, that she will take you and appreciate you even more. The fact that you express how sexy she is and that you want to make her feel special will allow the two of you to explore many other possibilities that eventually lead to love making. The journey is what you should be enjoying, not just the end result. So have fun! As I said, she wants to be with you for more reasons than just sex....just let sex happen as icing on the cake and you'll be great!

(Remember that I am only giving relationship advice. In no way is this to be construed as creating a therapeutic relationship or providing therapeutic treatment. Every situation is unique and I can only go on what you've briefly provided and how that compares to my years of professional experience)

With a sweet and gentle approach try pleasuring her with your fingers. Get her permission. Tell her that you'd like to explore learning to be skilful with your fingers. Use a safe lubricant (like coconut oil) and take your time. Ask for feedback about what feels good and what doesn't. Make it a fun and light exploration. Ask permission again to actually enter her and only use one finger. See if you can contact her g-spot. Find out what type of pressure and movement feels good to her. Find your joy and wonder. Create a fun connection with her.

I do not approve of the majority of erection pills because of the unwanted side effects. There is one that I do like because it is herbal and safe and it also works well. It is called WOW! and I believe in it so much that I sell it. See more about it on my blog:

Best of luck!