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in the mood

Published on March 18, 2013 by mine209

This is somthing that iam dealing with a lot right now in my relationship. Iv been with my boyfriend for about 8 years now. we have realy good sex but... A recent situation was, i was at home picking the flea's of my puppy and my boyfriend comes home, walks up to me and says "hay babe you want to kiss it"? i told him "no not realy". i have tryed befor to make him understand that i need more then that! i mean he thinks that walking up to me with a full blown erection and putting it in my face should be all that i need to get me in the mood. how can i make him understand so that i dont hurt his ego or selfasteam, that im not in the mood and it takes me more then just him bluntly putting his thing in my face??


My wife and I joke that it is pointless for a woman to ask a guy if he's in the mood for sex because even if he wasn't before, the fact that you're asking is enough to get him there.

Although he could use some lessons in tactfullness, he is demonstrating that most men are much more direct and require less build-up than women. Women need to feel loving to have sex - men need to have sex to feel loving. Plus it is a natural stress reliever for guys.

He may be denser than most in that even after 8 years he doesn't seem to have gotten the message that you need a bit of "warming up" first. I would suggest reading some of the many articles on this web site about these differences and how to coax some romancing out of your man.

I would also suggest that sometimes your answer to some of his blunt advances needs to be "Yes!" (or even be the one to initiate things yourself). The "Sometimes we'll do it your way if sometimes we do it my way" approach should appeal to his sense of fairness.