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im in love with two men. help!

Published on March 4, 2010 by smellygirl

basically i was with this guy for a while, about 7 months, about my average relationship length tbh, but now we are broken up, and im with someone else. my new guy is great, hes got a great personality, i fancy the pants off him, job, car, flat , my folks love him, etc, etc. good on paper. the problem is that i cant stop thinking about my ex. i dont want him back because he's got no job, no career prospects, and he was heavily dependant on me when we were dating. he was also a total girl in the way he thought, which meant we were like best best friends who f**ked, and (except for one small problem, we did have good sex). my ex was also the perfect boyfriend, backrubs, flower etc etc., while my new boyfriend is less that perfect, but tries as hard as he can, according to him. i guess my problem is that im still in love with my ex, even though i dont want to be. but im scared that if i leave my boyfriend for my ex, il realise it was just a case of grass is greener syndrome. i broke up with my man once already and we got back together 2 days later. he had been being quite neglectful and said he would change but he hasnt, he just doesnt have that much time for me, and he thinks i needy. we fight all the time. am i just stringing guy number one along because im afraid its not going t ork with guy number two? ive got myself in a real pickle. thoughts anyone?

ANSWERS

I think you are confusing love with something else here. What is it exactly about your ex do you miss besides the sex? No, you don't love your ex, you are just obsessing over him.

Also, it doesn't sound like you like guy number two that much either since you say you are just stringing him a long. IF you are doing that you don't love him either.

It doesn't sound like you are in love with either guy.

Maybe you should break up with your current guy and find someone new. Someone you actually like.

It's really unfair to keep one guy strung along while thinking about getting with another just so you won't end up single. That's a very selfish thing to do. You and your ex broke up for a reason and clearly he isn't as perfect as you think he is or you'd still be with him. This new guy honestly sounds like a rebound relationship because you don't seem all that into him if all you can think about is your ex. In fact, you shouldn't be in a relationship at all if you feel you need to keep another man on the back-burner in case it doesn't work out with your current. It's probably best for you to be on your own for a while and get over this feeling of co-dependency. Eventually you'll find someone that you really love and the thought of being with someone else will never cross your mind.

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