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I'm In Love With My FWB
Okay, super sticky situation here! I have been hooking up with a high school friend of mine on and off for a year and 3 months now. It started as sex, nothing more, I knew this was the deal because he had a girlfriend the first time we hooked up. This continued for 6 months, we would see each other about once a week intimately and almost every weekday in a school setting. Of course, I fell in love, and still am. During this 6 months, there was the one girlfriend that was already there, another FWB of his, 2 other potential relationships, and (5 days after I called it off) one of the potential became girlfriend. We hardly spoke for 7 months after that happened, and we have recently gotten back together. I thought I was totally over him, though I had not been with anyone else, I was not craving his attention like I previously had been. He sent me a text message (also had a girlfriend at this time, totally different from the above mentioned) and asked me to come over. I told him no, then got drunk 3 days later and ended up sleeping with him again. Him and girlfriend broke up 2 weeks later, and him and I are currently still hooking up occasionally with no other girls on his side. I'm madly in love with this d-bag, and he tells me he loves me too but doesn't want a relationship, fine- I'm not a relationship type anyway, but I am worried I will lose him to someone else again. We have always been good friends and have always been able to be there for one another and we hang out without doing the dirty sometimes. I've even recently started to meet his friends, and we all hung out at my house with some of my girlfriends about a month ago, so he is not trying to hide me and keep me out of his personal life like he was before our 7 month break. We also text more often, about nothing than we did before. I feel like he is in a way wanting more than FWB from me now, but I am terrified of losing this man again. Before the break it was only sex, come over, get it done, go home. Now it is sex, but there is more talking, cuddling, and kissing involved. What should I make of all this? Should I get my hopes up or not? I have talked to him about a relationship many times, to no avail. I am 100% OK with not being in a relationship with this person, but I am constantly worrying about who or what he is doing when I am not around. I feel like I'm getting on his nerves, I'm too clingy, I'm starting to want too much, and I'm eventually going to push him away. Has anyone else had a situation like this? Any advice on how to make him want me as much as I want him? Should I call it quits and deal with the pain for a few months, or just appreciate the little time I get with him? He has always come back to me, 3 girlfriends, 2 other FWBs, and a year and 3 months and I am the only one that is still here for him. What else can I do?! Thanks all!!!!