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I want to know about relationships?

Published on August 1, 2010 by katita

For anyone who has been in a serious relationship, I would like to know what is so great about it? (I just want to know in all honestly and don't mean to be patronising.)What should we look for in partners? Yes, I know that you need to be attracted to the person but what is more important: common interests or being sexual compatible?

I'm a female, 23 and never been in any kind of relationship with a straight male (no straight and single male friends since high school, boyfriend, friends with benefits or one night stands... all my guy friends are gay)

I have always wanted to be in a committed relationship, especially when thinking about wanting kids and be married one day. And I have positive relationships/marriages examples in my life. (no divorces in my close family members yet, thank god!)

But its just scary how divorce is so common nowadays and seriously it kind of discourages and saddens me that if other people can't find a suitable partner and stay married, there is certainly no hope in hell for me.

p.s sorry of this post seems scattered and naive, I just want to know.

ANSWERS

There's nothing wrong with questioning what seems unknown. In fact, I would think you more naive if you didn't question and fell into the same traps all the divorced folk fall into! I'm 32, never married and would love to be someday... I was engaged and earlier this year due to finding out things about him that were not so good... So, I can totally relate to the worry of- what is important in a relationship or why?!?

First, this is all my opinion.. I guess that's all any of this is! Secondly, follow your heart and mind and you'll be fine.

Okay- trust and honesty. That's it. We all know that we have to be attracted to someone to be with them. Attraction can come at anytime in a relationship though. It might not be there at the beginning as we thought it should be.. But in good relationships- even friendships and family- if you don't trust them enough to be honest and expect the truth back- it's NEVER going to work.

Finding someone at any age is difficult- especially when you have standards! But hold onto those standards- as they are what keeps you from being another statistic.

If I was 23 years old- I'd be finding a lot of hobbies that keep me interested. Avoiding bar scenes and keeping myself fully immersed in culture and friends. You will find the best people that way. From experience, most of my gay guy friends LOVE experiencing new things! Bring them with you, but don't be afraid to do things alone. This will make you stronger and more approachable.

I guess what I mean is- don't settle just because he's cute... We all tend to do that at one point or another, and it always ends up with someone getting hurt. You're better than that!! (talk about scattered!!)

Its better to ask now before you get married then after you get divoced in my opinion the first thing is two people have to be friend and build the friendship it will be easier to give you an example from mine and my wife relationship so here goes. We are high scholl sweethearts I meet her at her 8th grade graduation and told her I was going to marry her some day and she laughed but over the next 2 to 3 years we found out alot about each other and the main thing I found out was that I could stop thinking of her and it made it hard for me to work if i hadnt seen her the day before and slowly we grew closer and closer then while I was joining the Army she was at her Dr appointment and found out we were having a baby. About a year after that we gat married and work at relationship all the time and after 30 years we still enjoy each others company even on 17 hour road trips so eventually evey one finds the right mate so hang in there

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