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I like me. I don't want to lose me.

Published on August 18, 2010 by lauren4c

I've been single for about 6 months now, after ending a relationship that was sucking the life out of me. I'm super happy being on my own but am dating a really nice guy whom I can see some potential in. I'm worried, however, about getting back into another relationship and losing myself in it. Any advice?


Lauren - Great question and great notice on yourself. It can be SUPER easy to fall into a relationship and lose yourself, but you have already taken the first step - self awareness. In my book, Choosing ME before WE, i write about the 5 vows every woman must take with herself to ensure she stays solid inside herself no matter what relationship she is in. The ability to do this is called Sovereignty.

The shorthand version of the 5 vows are as follows I know me I am honest with me I love me I trust me I honor me

The longer version of the last vow - which i call the big Kahuna of all vows - is the compilation of all of the 5. If you can take it and keep it you will NEVER lose yourself. I took this 10 years ago, and today I am married to my soul partner, and living the life of my dreams.

"I vow to never settle for less than my heart and soul desire."

Wishing you much much love--- starting with the love you have for you!

Christine Arylo

I think that this is amazing advice, Christine! It can be so hard to get into this frame of mind (in my opinion, especially hard for women versus men because women tend to adopt the caretaker role and often put themselves last). Really great advice, though! I think those personal vows are just as important as any vows you make to another person.

--Kristin Social Media Intern