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I´m falling in love with my roommate, what should I do?

Published on February 13, 2013 by louiss21

I moved to a new apartment and I´ve been here for three weeks. I always thought that my roommate is very sweet and nice, but in my birthday, that was a tuesday, he bought some beers and had a very nice time, we cooked together and had fun. At the end of the day we were sitting on the couch and just talking, I was with my laptop and he asked me some questions about films, video games, etc. and he got vey close to me, close enough see my laptop, but he was smiling very nicely to me and I felt very nice next to him. I really wanted to just kiss him, but the problem is that I´m bisexual and he is straight, I´m a guy. I felt very weird, because I like the way he smells, the way he smiles to me, he is always very nice to me and he even cancelled appointments and tells some friends that he can´t go with them because he is with me. The other problem is that he has a girlfriend, but he even cancel dates with his girlfriend to be with me. I feel very happy when I´m with him and I loved to feel him next to me, he is always asking how I am and some nights he asks me if I´m cold and puts some blankets from his bed on my bed. should I tell him that I really lie him? I don´t wanna lose him in anyway as a roommate or as a friend =(


My expertise is in the area of improving love lives. You can find more information on my website at There are always some big risks connected with openly sharing your heart with someone. But sometimes love is worth the risk. It may be that sharing your true feelings, even if you get shot down, is better than living a lie.

I do want to warn you that, at least on the surface, it appears that the odds are against you. As you stated, your roommate is straight and has a girlfriend. It is possible that because you like him, you are interpreting his friendship as romantic interest. Sometimes we see what we want to see.

However, on the other hand, it is possible that your roommate is not as "straight" as previously believed. He may be deep in the closet or in complete denial. Even if he is consciously aware of this attraction, he may not know what he wants to do about it yet or if he even wants to act on it.

What I recommend would be to first have a conversation about sex; share some of the things that you have tried or thought about trying in the past. You can lighten things up by sharing a funny story or two. Try to get him to open up as much as possible. Give him an opportunity to share if he has ever had any experience, thoughts or even curiosity about being with a man.

If he opens up, then you may want to take this opportunity to test the waters with a little body language; try leaning in and touching his hand as you speak to him, notice if he lets your hand stay or pulls away. If he allows your touch to linger, then you may want to get things out in the open about how you feel. If he pulls away then, unless you are willing to hear that he just doesn't feel “that way” about you, you may want to postpone your announcement. But all may not be lost, you may have planted a seed that will get his thoughts stirring and moving. He may have feelings that he is not ready to admit yet. Perhaps you can revisit the topic later.