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I love my boyfriend but I'm in love with someone else!

Published on May 3, 2014 by second2last

Well the title says it. I've recently started dating this nice and sweet guy, A, everyone says he is and I can see that. He had been interested in me a few months prior to our relationship. I have to say I had a crush on him too. We got close, he confessed his feelings and we started dating. It's only been a couple of weeks but it's been great. A few days ago, I spent some time with a couple of friends and this guy, R, that I've been in love with for 2 years, ever since we met. We hung out at his with 3 other girls and another guy. R and I do have a bit of history, we made out a couple of times but it all happened last year, I was still single and he was having a rough relationship. As everyone knows, he is a player. Now, R's single and obviously showing it. He was flirting with me all night in front of the others. When one of my friends, D and R were in the kitchen, D told me that R asked her if he should pursue a relationship with me. If he had made a wrong choice of only being 'friends with benefits' with me in the past. Before I left with D as she was giving me a ride home. R asked me for a hug but I resisted because I didn't want to awaken the awkwardness between us and for sure he knew it too. He said just one hug and a friendly one. So we did. Then he asked me for a kiss on the cheek, I really did resist on this one but again he said just a friendly one and so I did. He said thank you and maybe we could hang out sometime. I said maybe and left immediately. Now, his friends are telling me that he's thinking about me differently. He actually is thinking about getting serious with me. He was suppose to come the next day but he called in sick. I'm confused on what I'm suppose to do now. I do love my boyfriend and he loves me and I don't want to leave A heartbroken for another guy but this is a chance to be with the one I'm in love with, the love of my life. Would it be okay for me to leave?


Your title actually does say it all. You "love" your boyfriend, but you are "in love" with someone else.

Those are two VERY different things when it comes to a relationship.

Unless you've discussed the possibility of a polyamorous relationship with A, you have to look into your heart and ask yourself where you would rather be? If you've known R for years, and are still "in love" with him, then I'd say it's pretty clear where your heart is. The fact that you say you are "in love" with R after all of this time, shows that a part of your heart is reserved for him, and always has been.

So you have to ask yourself, if you truly do care for A, then why would you want to stay with him and hurt him when you cannot give your heart 100% to him?

First, you need to be sure that you have feelings for this new person in your life. If so, it is not only OK to leave, it is preferable. If you have compassion for your boyfriend, you will leave him to find his own happiness with someone else, just like you have with your new love.