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I insulted my boyfriend - Really bad.

Published on April 8, 2010 by andruchina

So, past Saturday was my birthday and my boyfriend, some friends and me met to go to this concert. One of my girlfriends started getting a little too comfortable with my boyfriend. When we were sitting at the table in a restaurant she asked him if he wanted to share a soup with her. Then HE offered to buy her beer and for the whole night he paid for her beer. (Later he told me that they were having rounds, and that him and his friend were paying for it, but she never paid for anything). At the concert she was all touchy-feely with him, jumping around and dancing with him and with his friend.

Meanwhile I'm dying inside, holding it in. There were many instances where she crossed the line and since they were drunk they didn't give a care if I was alive or not. But at the end of the night, she told him something on the ear but she had to touch his face and basically hang from his neck. That was it. I exploded and left the place. When my boyfriend came after me I said many many bad things starting with the letter "F". I told him to go "f" her and leave me alone, I told him how he never spent anything on me but all night he was buying her beer and, uf, so many things. Was I wrong in acting this way? The next day we talk and he tells me that she texted him saying to wish me a Happy Birthday even though he told her why we fought. Now, they are not friends. They know each other through me, so it's very backstabbing and annoying that she would communicate with him. What hurts me is that my boyfriend doesn't seem to think he did anything wrong, he thinks he was just being nice. How can I make him understand and also, if he doesn't understand, should I let him go?

ANSWERS

I think you definitely had good reason to be upset with him and your friend but perhaps you didn't handle it the best way you could have. You should have said something to him earlier before you reached your boiling point. The fact that he is no longer friends with her shows that he does realize that he hurt you and does care about your feelings. I'm sure he knows that he did something wrong whether he admits it or not. I think you should discuss your feelings with him when you are calmer. Just sit down with him and let him know how he was making you feel by his behavior with your friend. Ask him how he would feel if you did the same thing to one of his friends. See what his reaction is and what he says. If he apologizes and you notice a change in his behavior, at least him trying to make things right, I think you should give him a second chance. If not and you aren't sure about his commitment to the relationship then it's up to you if you want to try to work through it or walk away. As for your friend, I think you should definitely dump her. She's not your friend if she's all over your boyfriend. Being drunk doesn't excuse either of their actions.

you DID NOT do anything wrong!! trust me, if that was my bf..... OMG! lolol i would do the EXACT same thing! i would still love him and be with him. it sounds like you two have a lot :) but MAKE SURE he understands how it make you feel. very calmly have a convo one night, and just tell him you love him and it hurt me when.. yatta yatta yatta. he reeaally needs to understand WHAT he did wrong. and HOW he can change it to make your guys relationship stronger! :) and good luck! :D and PS. if he loves you, he WILL change! so with all this in mind.. just goodluck and YOU CAN DO IT!! :D

If your BF doesn't understand why you are upset then he is being intentionally dense. But he needs to understand he's got to stop talking to that other girl if you two are going to work through this. And being drunk is no excuse. You should talk to him when you are a little calmer. Try and make him understand. If he doesn't and he continues this behavior you need to decide how much of this you can put up with.

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