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I am ready to get married why isnt he?

Published on July 3, 2012 by ilyboricua1

I have been with my fiancee for 2 1/2 yrs going 3 this year and we have a 1 year old we have talked about getting married but he keeps saying later because he wants a big wedding and doesn't have the money when i want a small one long story short i showed him cheap wedding packages online and he ignores them i'm ready to tie the knot why isn't he?? we love each other very much is he scared or something?


it would help if you mentioned how old you guys were. i'm going to guess in your 20s? well if that is the case, he could just not be ready to give up the freedom he has being 'single.' now i know he isn't technically single, but a lot of people see marriage as a huge step into adulthood, and he may not be ready for the responsibility. he may fear it will change everything between you two. or he may fear you'll turn into roseanne lol. he may want to wait until he is more financially stable. or he might not be sure he wants to marry YOU. they are all plausible. but if your gut is telling you that the reasons he is giving you aren't the truth, you need to figure out why. i think what you have to think about is, if he is NEVER going to marry you and things stay the way they are now, is that something you could live with? or is that a deal breaker? if it's a deal breaker, then as sad as it may be, you might have to move on. you have to be honest with him. tell him if he isn't ready to marry you in the near future, he needs to tell you. you were upfront about what you wanted and can't wait around for him forever. so if he isn't ready to at least start planning the wedding within 8 months (whatever time-frame you're comfortable with, just don't make it like, 3 weeks or anything. make it at least a few months) then you need to move on. and take it from there. you need to have an open discussion with him, because there are many possible reasons he could be putting it off.

You're lucky you even got a clear response out of him, such as, "I want a big wedding." Usually, guys will think of marriage as signing their life over to the warden, with a sentence of drama and no sex life. Sad...I know. Maybe he really just wants a big wedding. Maybe he's scoping you out, to see if you have the qualities of a wife. Maybe he really doesn't want to be married, and just dragging you along, for as long as you'll allow him to. Or maybe he's just not ready. But one thing for sure, you do wanna make sure of, is that he really wants to marry in general. Nothing's worse than that possibility. I would play close attention to the things he does. What is his decision-making like? Is it only considering himself, or all of you as a whole? Does he initiate discussions of the future? Things like that. If you can answer yes to all of those questions, then I would consider the other possibilities: he's not ready, he's scoping you, he wants a big wedding, etc. Hope this helps.

Also, see if he'll discuss his saving-habits with you. If someone told me they didn't want to wed just yet, because they want a big wedding, I'd be checking to see if they're even saving in the first place.

He may actually want a big wedding....or he could be happy with the way things are. You have to decide whether or not you want to believe his answer or continue wondering about it. You two already lead a married life...kid and all. Maybe he is wondering why there is a need for marriage when you two are already living together, probably having sex, raising a child and possibly mingling finances. I think he may actually want a big wedding. Some guys want all of their family and friends present when they take that step. It's not uncommon. Just be clear with him on what you want and be clear with yourself on how long you are willing to wait for it.