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I agreed to a break that I pushed him into, that I don't want anymore. Is it Ok for me to call, apologize and ask to start again

Published on February 1, 2010 by lseibel64

I met a very nice man on a dating site. We're both divorce, both have children/child, same religion. We talked, we met and clicked right away. Even though he is an almost 2 hour drive away, we saw eachother every other weekend (kids), and spoke every night on the phone. He didn't mind the effort it took to drive here. One weekend when I was supposed to go see him for the weekend, it started to snow that morning. He knew how I felt about driving in the snow, so he went online and found a way to get me there by train and reserved a ticket for me. It required to have him drive 30 minutes to the train station to pick me up and take me back, which he also reserved and paid for. This is where I come in...I let our relationship move to fast physcially...right away. I know how I can be if I carte for someone. I mentioned it it right away that I was worried about being intimate, and he assured me that this was not a game, and that he wanted to see where this would go. However, he has a terrible relationship with his exwife...understandiblly, who took him for alot of money, and is very nasty to their children. He's having a rough time with financial issues with her regarding alimony and child support since the economy has changed, and so has his income in the last year (he's a commidities trader and the market is way down), and fighting her over how she treats their children. One who needs counseling now for depression, and openly admiited to the counselor becasue of the way the mom treats him. He's 13 and wants to live with his dad. But my (on hold) boyfriend, is struggling with alot of this. Anyway, I sensed alot of emotional distance from me, and I guess I just wanted to HEAR if our relationship had a future of some kind. Maybe it was how I presented it on some occasions, by getting hurt and angry, and reacting wrong. But eventually when I tried to talk about it, (by the way, I was going through alot on my end too. I'm a nurse, but in between jobs...worrying about bills, an 8 yr. old daughter who is strugling in one area of school because of my job hours. Which is why II'm in the midst of getting a new job), he felt too much pressure from me I think, and responded by saying that maybe we should take a break this weekend. Our weekend without the kids. Which to me meant 2 weeks because the next weekend, this past, we both had our children. Now. I had finally met his 2 boys on New Years Eve. weekend. They're very nice! We had fun. Went out to dinner together, then we went to his friend's house for a small "family party. I slept in his gyest room that night, and we drove his boys home the next day. It went very well. He also had spoken to my daughter on the phone a few times, and they met the last time we were together. The night before Martin Luther King Day. He drove down because I was going with him to a Dr.'s appt. that I had helped him set up for possible surgery. My daughter really enjoyed it. We had fun. Then this. It really hurt me. And I guess scared me that he was trying to end it, not just needing a little time. He's also planning an 80th birthday paryt for his mom in March in his home.Of course I said something like, would you have even included me? And he said he didn't know. That he truly does have feelings for me, but if I need a definite answer about where our future is going, he can't give that to me right now. In time, he said, he might know better. If I just had a little patience. Basically I gave him an ultimatum. That if he didn't know now that at least we had somehting together, I wasn't going to wait around. Of course that made him a little upset and angry. Then I took a day or 2 and rethought it and said that I still really cared for him. That I'd wait, but while I was waiting I'd see other people. He told me he was sorry and that he had the utmost respect for me. He understood. And we'd keep in touch and "see how things went"...agreeing to the words I said. It's been almost 2 weeks. I texted him yesterday that I was thnking about him. I know he has his boys until this morning. I don't want to lose him. Have I done the wrong thing and ben too impatient? He really is a good person. Have I blown it? Can I call him and tell him I'm sorry and that I's still like to see him, take it slowly and see how it goes? I actually just texted him and asked "I don't want to interupt your day.Do you think we could talk tonight?" And he texted back ..."sure'. Please give me some advice. Thank you!! Leslie