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Give Advice: He Wants To Have Sex With Me And The Other Woman

Published on January 5, 2012 by virginia.b

My husband and I have been together for 14 years. He had an affair with a coworker after we were married for 7 years, he moved out and left me with our 3 month old son. We ended up getting divorced. About two years later we got remarried. He said that he would never hurt me again and he realized what he lost. I really believed him and thought that he would never hurt me again. He would cry all the time and tell me how horrible he felt and how much he loved me. We had our second child and things seemed like they were going to be ok. I never believed that saying, once a cheater, always a cheater. I believe that people make mistakes and can really learn from them and change.

The beginning of October of this year he told me that he had failed me again. He said that it was another woman from work and that it wasn't anything serious. I had an appointment to go to, so I thought that we would talk about everything when I got back home. When I got home, I realized that my husband was not home. As I opened the garage door, he left with his things out the front. Since than he has been with this other woman, and maybe more - who knows. He has not been back home and doesn't want to work things out, which I know is best for me to. It hurts because, I know there isn't but I feel like something is wrong with me. I feel so rejected and betrayed and so stupid for trusting him again.

He has been making comments lately about how beautiful and sexy I am to him. He said that he wants to have sex with me but that it won't mean anything and that he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea. He showed up here the other night at 1 in the morning because he thought I had a guy over, and than he told me how he can't stop thinking about sleeping with me. I haven't slept with him and don't plan on it. I just don't know why he would want to have sex with me when he's got the one that he left me for. What kind of sense does that make??

Thank you for any comments or suggestions.

ANSWERS

it doesnt make any sense. He is the one with the problem. It sounds like to me he wants to have his cake and eat it too. its painful but he made it clear he doesnt want and emotionally relationship with you and if you were to give in it would only be sexual. TO me is seems like he wants to know he has control over you. Dont give him that. He will always be in your life because you have children together, but that doesnt mean you have to deal with his non sense. it isnt fair to you and if noone has told you latley, you deserve BETTER!

It makes plenty of sense. He wants the thrill of a "new" body and lover. He is highly sexual. He does not have the same concomitant values that she does. To him it is sex for sex to her it is an expression of love.

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