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Give Advice: My Husband Hits On Other Women In Front Of Me

Published on August 7, 2012 by teresa guevara

My husband always jokes and talks about women around me, and I feel that's disrespectful. He says, "Hey girl, What's your name?" and he tells others that they're pretty and he would lay them, and I get mad and tell him he's direspectful for saying things like that in front of me. He says he is only playin'. I also know when he's at his job and they are kidding around, he does the same thing in front of his co-workers. I want to know why he does this so much.

ANSWERS

Here are some answers from our YourTango Facebook Community (http://ow.ly/cO6wU).

Donna says: Unless your both are looking for a third in the relationship flirting shouldn't be happening with other people, because it might indicate the other person is interested in you.

Nikki says: Personally if my husband flirted w other women in front of me ... He wouldn't be my husband ...:)

Charmaine says: Ofcoz it is disrespectful and mean to flirt in the presence of your partner.

Dear Ms. Guevara, it doesn't matter why he does it, the point is he does. He does it because you have no backbone and you take his disrespect. I am sure you have already told him that when he does that it makes you sad or upset but he doesn't care because he knows he can do whatever he wants and you will accept his boorish behavior. Since he has no shame and do this in front of anybody, that makes him look like a jerk and you like a fool. Have you ever thought that you made a mistake marrying this dude? Dude, because he's not a man. A man will treasure and respect his wife. I am praying that you don't have any children, this way it will be easier for you to pack your bags and rectify your mistake. Remember that if you treat yourself like a prize, others will too but when you have no self regard, a guy like your husband, will always step on you because he can. Good luck.

This is very easy to answer. You put up with it. He is "testing the waters", as a child does when then want to find out what you will and will not put up with. If you keep letting it go without repercussion, he will keep pushing his limits, just like a child. Eventually this could end up with a couple of different circumstances if you don't curb it.--

  1. He may end up following through with a person who acknowledges his come-ons. Not good.

  2. He could get fired from his job if someone decides to follow up with a sexual harassment claim. This is something my girlfriend will not tolerate and has had a couple of people fired for in her work place. It is unprofessional and disrespectful. Not good.

  3. He could get his a** kicked if he does this to someone who is also attached. Not good.

In any case, this is not good behavior, no matter how innocent it may seem on the surface. Not only is it showing disrespect and disregard for you, but it also shows disrespect and disregard for ALL women in general.

You must lay the law down to him and be very clear to him that you will not put up with it. Right now, he thinks he can do anything he wants, because you or any other woman he does this to won't do anything about it. Will you be strong enough to follow through with leaving??? Will the other women be brave enough to complain about him at the workplace???

It is the women who put up with it that manifests this type of behavior and only when repercussions are carried out will this damaging behavior be curbed. Don't play games with this. Say what you'll do, and do what you say!

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