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husband does,nt make passes at me.

Published on August 10, 2010 by tintin

10 months ago i found out my hubby was on sex & dating sites.one he sent winks to other women.been married nearly 6yrs sex was great but since found out nothing.i lost my trust in him i could,nt understand where i had gone wrong.i even lost wieght before i found out as i was very over wieght.my hubby and i get on so well we are great companions and love each others company.the sex side has deminished.if i make apass at him then something happens if i dont thenwe can go months and months without it.we had forplay the other day i felt like i was having sex with a stranger it was not a nice feeling.he had been on these sites for a long time.ifeel this was the only way he got turned on and it was,nt me that was turning him on.when i talk to him about how i feel he just says im being silly and that he loves me and does feel sexualy attracted to me but im not convinced.why feel the need to wink women on sex dating sites if that was the case.we,ve had our ups and downs like most people and got through them but i have never got over what he did and he knows this.it is just there in the back of my mind as our sex life is non existant it worries me even more.i hope you can help thankyou tintin

ANSWERS

Women need to understand that Men are very sexual creatures, we NEED sex to survive. Again, we NEED sex to live. If we don't get that sex at home we will find it elsewhere, but you bet on one thing that we will find sex.

If weeks or months have passed by without sex between a couple, the you can bet that the guy is looking elsewhere. If you want guy to stop looking at other women, then asking him to stop won't work, shaming him to stop won't work either. Remember what I said, men NEED sex. Its not a want, its a need. We will go back to needing sex.

Give your man good sex at home and he will stop looking elsewhere.

Oh, CrazyFly, you are so full of it. Don't listen to him. While it is true that men do need sex, tintin has stated that she has attempted to seduce him, the problem is that he wont approach her AND he is on dating web sites.
Tintin, your husband is taking a selfish approach to a problem in your marriage. You two need to get into therapy NOW. First, hubby must learn that he cannot use an immature tactic like cyber cheating to deal with his issues. Then the two of you can work out the original issue that made him unhappy.
DO NOT tolerate this behavior. There is no acceptable reason for any married man to be on a dating web site. I don't care if the wife is a total b*tch - the mature approach is for the man to demand therapy or get a divorce NOT to cheat. Tintin, you are not being silly. Take back your life, tell hubby that he can either cancel all his memberships and go into therapy with you or you are leaving.
I know you love him and he says he loves you. If he truly wants this marriage to work, he will agree. If he doesn't agree, I know it will hurt, but you would be better off alone than with a cheater - this will only continue to damage you. Good luck, sweetie.

@CrazyFly the only thing anyone needs to survive is food and water not sex male or female. We weren't born having sex until years later but we still lived. Tintin you are trying your best, trying to get involved in sex with him, asking question, etc. He is the one being selfish and immature with the dating site. You need to give him an ultimatum there is only so much an individual can take and what you are going through is not fair to you. Let him know you dont appreciate his behavior, any man that is distant and not want to have sex with his wife for months means that he is cheating whether emotionally or physically, I have seen this situation many times before. Counseling would be next. If he does not want to change, whether you love him or not ur feelings come first so you may have to take the step in moving on. This may not sound to good now but its better than wondering your self to death, and being all distraught about what your husband is doing behind your back or on the internet. He's having his fun while you are worrying, not worth it. GOOD LUCK

thankyou for your answers they can be very confusing.when i put in my question about my hubby on dating sites i did make sure all the sites were cancelled.icheck my cookies temp files everyday to make sure he hasn,t been on any sites.my hubby is 13yrs older than me and his reason for his behavior was he was bored and also he said he was scared that he could,nt perform.i know your going to tell me to wake up and smell the roses.ive known my hubby for 7yrs sex at one time was fantastic to the point he said he had done things he had not done before.there were accassions that brewers droop took over it happens.so why allof a sudden has sex stopped.is it because i stopped his obsession on the internet was that giving him the drive.and all this time i thought it was me ha ha.joking aside my hubby is very caring he does alot for me cups of tea in bed housework when im working late shifts.im his 4th wife when we talk about this issue he says hes going know where and loves me very much.but i cant help wondering if he has feelings for someone else.i feel like a mini detective i even find myself looking at his body language to see if he is lieing.god this is screwing me up.i asked if he was having an affair he said no.im very confuesed not good hey.

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