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how to move on with my life?

Published on November 1, 2013 by pavithrac

i have been cheated by two guys emotionally and one guy physically..i really have a horrible past..i have never been alone for past six years..am now 20 years old..as of now all i need is peace..but wherever i go i hear a group of guys talking at back of me..actually am not that type of girl..al i needed was a true relationship where i can get things more valuable than sex but i never had that kinda true love in which sex wasn't tht much important..i couldn't move on towards the future..past is pulling me.i ve already started to hate myself..,but my heart knows tht i didn't do anything wrong.still am not to accept the past.my mind always broods over it..am hating myself more nowadays..am a jovial character-ed girl but nowadays i ve changed a little reserved.i can identify it by myself.am not even dressing as i used to..am not able to move freely with people. so insecure..

ANSWERS

A man cheating on you is no reflection of who you are but on the type of character the guy is. Hating yourself because of their cheating is allowing them to continue to abuse you emotionally. You have given them power over your emotions and how you feel about yourself. These guys are creeps!

Take back control of your life. Recognize it wasn't you. It was them. Get a fresh new hair cut, go for a makeover, buy a new outfit (just don't spend yourself into debt), do what you have to to feel better about you. Do activities that you love. Surround yourself with friends who are positive and will lift you up. We absorb what we surround ourselves with. If we choose to surround ourselves with negativity, it will drain us emotionally and allow us to stay in our own negative frame of thought. One thing that REALLY helped me get over a break up was painting ceramics. I must have painted a couple pieces a week, but I became so focused on the details of what I was painting that I was able to not focus on the details of how I was hurt.

Take back control of your emotions. You are young, and there are billions of people on the planet. Surely you're not going to believe you are worthless because of 2 guys. You haven't even begun to experience the world yet, and trust me, there are plenty of wonderful years ahead of you. Dr. Laura once said "history is not destiny. You have free will to overcome, grow, change: Invent yourself".

You it would be unrealistic to think you will never experience pain or hurt in dating and love, not every guy you meet will be a cheater, and it's not fair to punish guys who have not cheated on you for the mistakes of those who have. Trust is a decision. You can choose to get back on the horse and take a risk, or you can stay on the sidelines and play it safe. One day you will meet a man who will be worthy of you.

But in order to find him, you have to treat yourself kindly first. Do not sleep with a man as soon as you meet him or start dating him. A guy who is really into you won't mind waiting. A guy who just wants sex will be gone within a few dates when he's not getting any. Better to know right away. Sex blurs the clarity of a dating relationship. Many women, including myself once, have hung onto extremely bad relationships for good sex, and we got out of them broken and bruised. Know your own value and don't be willing to accept less for a guy who isn't worth it.

And remember, you are awesome and "history is not destiny". So get out there and grow, overcome and reinvent yourself!

If you like books, I would recommend this one: http://www.amazon.com/Womans-Worth-Marianne-Williamson/dp/0345386574/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1297555936&sr=1-8

-YourTango Expert

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