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How to deal with his ex and jealosy
I have been dating this guy for ten months now, he has yet to make it official due to various reasons on his part however in all ways I am his girlfriend just without the title.
However, besides my irritation to him not having asked me yet, I am constantly trying to get over my insecurities i have regarding his ex. Their story is they were off and on for about 3 years, just 4 months before we started dating they had decided to end it completely , however they remained friends. I have just gotten out of a relationship where i was cheated on so finding out that he was still friends with her was hard for me in the initial stages of our relationship. No matter how much i express my distain for their relationship, he will not give her up. She was his first love and she helped save his life many a time so he tells me that she is now family to him. I have tried to be understanding, but since he always describes her as this wonderful amazing person, this pedestal he puts her on makes me uncomfortable because she broke up with him. I have not met her or had contact with her being that they seldomly see each other but she will call him when she's going through tough times because she claims he is the only one who will help her. She has told him that she will not contact him because she respects our relationship but she always returns. I think that what bothers me the most is that i feel like he always chooses her over me because he knows how i feel about it, but he continues to do it anyway. However with me, because early in the relationship I mentioned that alot of my male friends always developed crushes on me and because I hung out with my male friends during one of our many breaks he always makes with us, he wants me to always tell him who i am texting when it comes to guys, and there are certain guys who he does not like me messaging. He does the same on his part because he wants us both to be truthful ( however, i dont feel this is neccesary because i dont care who he is texting)We both also do not have any social media sites in order to "build trust" according to him because he claims he does not have it in me because i cant keep my word regarding small things E.I. (saying i'm going to watch a movie with him, or wearing face makeup) Overall , i'm tired of having to deal with the jealousy i have towards his ex when he clearly wont give her up and her i am complying with his commands. I just have no clue how to relay this to him at this point because i have already stated this to him many times. I also want to stop being jealous of her, but i dont know how. I know he loves me, we spend all our time together and he cares for me in a way no one else has, we just have different views on issues and it annoys me to the core.