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how to deal with anti-marriage man

Published on March 3, 2014 by cherryberry36

Hi, we broke up since 1 month but on/off talking sometimes ( we are working in one company and one dept!!! ) We have been in the relation for 2 years, he was hoenst from the begining and told me that he is not thinking about marriage as he loves his freedom the most and want to live as a free bird (sagittarious man) But i accepted because i wanted him hoping to change him, days pass, months came and we began to love eachother deeply like crazy, we had the best sex, best outings and crazy trips, common thinking.... BUT when i tried to open the marriage subject, every time we had a fight till i started shout and scream and became so nervous the last period !!! Our relation turned to boring period and fights all time.... but it was out of my control really :(((, i tried to go away many times before but he returned back to me in 2 days saying that he loves me,,, till i found myself ruined and it was the final break up ... The problem now is we still love eachother, but he doesnt want to marry and i want him !! Even he is OKAYYYY when i tell him that there is another guy wants to propose for marriage ... He wants us to be good friends but I said NO ... Is there any solution please, i want to approach this guy and continue with him

ANSWERS

The only solution is to accept him for who he is and either be with him knowing that he'll never marry you, or decide you can't deal with that and move on to someone else who will give you what you want.

The problem is that you got into the relationship with him thinking you could change him. That is a huge NO NO. Don't ever date someone hoping to change them. You're only setting yourself up for failure based on false expectations. When they don't change, it blows up in your face and you're stuck heart broken or settling for someone you want but a situation you don't.

You need to decide what's the most important need for you. This guy? Or marriage to someone else you will likely love just as much? Can you live with him forever and not be married to him? You will never change him. You can only accept him as he is and go along with it, or move on. Bottom Line.

I'm sorry that he is not telling you what you want to hear. However, he was clear that he is not interested in being married. Continuing a relationship in the hopes that one of you will change is a really bad idea as you have found out. I know it hurts but, if you really want to be married, you need to move on and find someone who shares that desire.

I am more than a bit concerned that you are still trying to get him to change by telling him that there is another man wanting to propose to you. It doesn't sound like you are ready to get married if you can simply replace one potential groom with another. Or use one man to try and make another one jealous and do what you want them to do. Neither of those behaviors make for a good foundation for marriage.

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