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How to shake a guy that won't commit but also won't leave me alone? (Bonus problem: I really like him)

Published on January 7, 2010 by sjnkwtz

I've been seeing him for almost 2 months and he has brought up several times that he isn't looking for anything serious.... only then to begin making plans with me to do things months in advance. I figured I'd just suck it up because I really like him and we're very compatible in almost every way and give him time to figure out what's going on in his head.

The final straw for me was a few days ago when he told me his new years resolution was to stop leading me on. I told him I liked him too much to keep hanging out with no hope of it developing into something more serious - I would just be leading myself to a broken heart. I said that if he didn't want anything serious I wasn't going to try to change his mind; I know he's had some rough relationships in the past and it would take more than me begging him to get into a relationship with me to get past them.

This morning, less than 3 days after telling him it was completely over, he texted me something obscure about his day as if nothing had happened. I didn't respond because I didn't want us to fall back into the same casual thing, but I also didn't want to tell him to leave me alone because if he is working things out in his head I don't want to push him away.

Did I do the right thing to ignore his text? Am I doing the right thing in general by telling him I can't see him if he's going to keep saying it will never go anywhere? I need help, I'm so confused by the whole thing because we do have an amazing time together, he's the sweetest guy and took good care of me (rushing over to make me feel better after receiving an awful LSAT score, helping me care for a new tattoo, etc.) and called me for support as soon as he got bad news from an old friend. ??


OMG!! I'm in the same situation except for mine has been going on for five months now!! we spend most of our free time together, i've met pretty much all of his friends, we go out together, i sleep at his place the majority of the time, one time he backed away because he said he's not ready for anything serious and it seemed like things were headed that way, but a few days later our routine was back to normal, he too had shity relationships and doesn't trust anyone especially females, and was in the marine core for a long ass time so isn't ready to commit to anyone, Fine, i can totally respect that, BUT WHY NOT LEAVE ME THE F ALONE!? I've even asked him to, he's actually seen me out with another guy and got mad at me and my response was, you want your freedom but i can't have mine? i thought you just wanted to remain friends? i finally confessed all feelings and he says he doesn't see a future, fine, well then stop wasting my time, well two days after blowing up my phone won't stop texting, then nothing for two days then i get a text telling me how he misses me? aaahhh obviously we need to just cut it off! I've been screwed over alot! and i'm not bitter to the point if i like someone alot i won't commit because i'm too afraid, but he also has that hole f'd in the head thing going on due to him becoming a marine. I want him to leave me alone because i know that's what's best, but if he does, i'll be extremely crushed. my feelings for him are already too strong! aaaahhhhhh

Sounds like Hes not that into you. Maybe a booty call when all else fells. I've got one that uses me like that. I do back to him what He does to me.Hes a Narcissists. The worst kind the trill seeker.