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how long to wait...

Published on December 1, 2010 by completely confused

I am usually really shy about asking girls out but I stepped outside that earlier in the school year and asked out one of my newer friends in September that I had just met (friend zone always gets me) at the beginning of the year.  She didn't know what she wanted and I was eventually shot down(after a brief "I want to get to know you better phase" which didn't happen) due lack of time/family problems/lots of stress.  However something told me it was right and I didn't give up and eventually sent her an email over break asking if we could try it again in the spring.  Got shot down again.  She said anything she entered into would be more of a comfort thing than anything serious, and it wasn't fair to do that to me.  So I said fine, told her if she wanted to try it once things cooled down she had to take the initiative b/c I was done asking, told her I would need a little space for a while, and closed by saying that if she ever needed me as a friend I'd still be there.


Figured it would take me a while but all it took was Thanksgiving break to realize I was just killing myself.  When I got back to school, I immediately noticed one of my other friends, whom I've known since we were freshman(college) and spend lots of time talking, playing video games with, etc in a whole different light.  She isn't the same drop dead gorgeous as the other girl was, but her personality and who she is a a person is really sucking me in.  Is there a time-frame you should wait in between asking 2 girls out so it isn't seen as desperate?


I swore to myself last year that I would not bring in the New Year alone as I have done every other year of my life, and while it's getting close, I don't know if I should push this to end up in a "reboundesque" type of relationship, yet I don't want to let it slip away either



"reboundesque" away!!! You're single and at an age where you should be out there dating all types, having the time of your life and offering no apologies. And as far as what that other girl might think (hot girl #1) who cares! She begged off not once, but twice.

Best of Luck to you, ~Vanillaskies

It's up to you. Ask and ask often who cares what other people may think. If you yourself think you are being desperate then you need to recognize that and do what you feel is right. Do enjoy yourself though. Don't get caught up in trying to land the perfect girl etc. It will consume your valuable youth. You have your whole life to find that perfect someone. If youre just trying to hook up for the sake of your personal resolution... probably not the best way to go about it. Wouldn't you agree.

I agree with beentherebeforeoo9 -- you need to ask yourself what kind of human being do you want to BE (as opposed to what you want to LOOK LIKE).

Sounds like you need some serious depth development. Perhaps taking some time out to think about how to, or taking action to, help others in need (instead of focusing on your IMAGE), would be a good prescription for change. And who knows? You might meet someone who actually likes you for who you are!

You weren't in a relationship with anyone, so there is no time lapse. Ask the other girl out. And, I might add, take your time. You don't have to look at every potential date as being "the one." Have fun, relax and be yourself.