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How to help close pals in their breakup.... they wont let me stay out of it

Published on October 3, 2010 by danteoz

CHAPTER 1... She's late-20's and he's mid-30's....together for 8-odd years with two kids.

HER: Actively having an affair with another man (married with children incl newborn) who was the father of one of her kids kindy pals.

HIM: Finds out about affair after catching her sneaking out at night...goes through phone messages and chat records... they split up and attempt to retain friendship for the kids even though he is hurt (but he accepts his part in the initial estrangement leading to said affair)

CHAPTER 2... Five months later, they are heading towards reconciliation after she ditches married man (three months after breakup). Evening of "full disclosure" reveals he has been seeing someone since the seperation...and also tells her he had a one-night-stand with her best friend from school with whom she recently found again!!

HER: She understands about the relationship but fine about it. Is devastated and angry by the one-night stand...but after pondering decides it was a once-off and she is hurt mostly by the betrayal of the friend. Sends friend SMS to call her names - friends responds by calling her and saying she was the relationship and its been going on since a month after the breakup.

HIM: Denies nothing - claims he was hurt and angry by her actions and jumped at chance early on to get retribution. Found he liked the friend a lot and thought he feel in love with her. Now realises that was rubbish and begs forgiveness....

HER: Switches to seek-and-destroy mode, demands divorce and vents all the awful details on Facebook!

So...there you have it. My role in this whole thing is piggy-in-the-middle! She is my best friend, he is my oldest friend! They are both dumping everything on me and I'm getting torn in two.