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how to handle withdrawing husband

Published on May 7, 2010 by kavithahariprasad

mine was an arranged a year ago? my hubby was of withdrawing nature post maariage and was not showing much interest towards me. I always felt he was least concerned about me, post year he told he never wanted accept my proposal and was forced to do so..... this kind of mindset kindled lot of misunderstanding... and ended up in clash, couple of days back..

He was not supportive with my caareer because of which i had quit my career recently post which he also quit his job and now looking out currently, this situation of him not accepting the family responsibilities are leading to clashes and as of now i have taken a break and moved to my parents.. kindly advice how to continue the marriage... as i do love him....


What do you love about him? What is it about him that makes you love him? Right now you two are focusing on your differences and your "clashes" take some time to rediscover what it was that made you love him in the first place. Go on some dates, get to know one another.

This is an arranged marriage you said, right? I'm going to assume that there is a cultural or religious difference so that typical USA ideas about dating, romance and marriage are not necessarily applicable, okay?

At this time just based on what you said, it sounds like the marriage was arranged but you husband was not consulted or at least feels like he wasn't. Add to that, it sounds like he feels he was not consulted regarding your career; then you stopped working and he stopped working, so now there are financial problems.

My suggestion to you would be to remind you that marriage is a commitment. You made a commitment to act in a way that reserves all your affection and loyalty for him, and yet those two actions alone sound like he feels pretty disrespected...and men need respect. So first, I would encourage you to honor your commitment and have your loyalty to your husband, not your parents. Once a marriage is arranged, you are not in your parent's house anymore. Second, I would encourage you to learn how to build love and respect, and in this instance you may have to start first and let him see you doing it. To build love and respect in your home, you do two things: 1) find out the things you have done that have hurt him and caused harm to the marriage and stop doing those things; and 2) find out the things that generate a feeling of love and respect in him and begin to do those things. Now by the way, I am fully aware that he has probably also done things to hurt you and caused harm to the marriage, but you can not change him--you can only focus on YOU and change yourself and the way you are.

If you would like to talk further please feel free to reply here or contact me privately here on YourTango!