Here's how to communicate with your ex without being desperate... Make sure you're clear. Be clear(and honest) with yourself about whether or not getting back together is wise and in your best interests. Be clear with yourself about what happened, your role in it and what you are truly willing to do differently. Be clear with yourself (even if you don't fully believe it) that you WILL be okay no matter what your ex says and regardless of whether or not he wants to reunite with you.