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How to get rid of a wishy washy man?

Published on April 28, 2009 by luvtorn

My friend has a roommate that at one time she was dating. He became her roommate when he lost his job etc. and needed some where to go. She let it be known that she wasn't letting him stay there for relationship reasons but if he wanted to persue one with her she would be open to that. As time has went on he does his own thing never wants to be a part of her life until she starts dating someone new. And he doesnt pay for anything and tries to make her feel sorry for him when she confronts him about his behavior and his responsibilties.

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You know, it may sound cruel, but kick him to the curb! A lot of us have a problem with enabling others to continue doing the negative things they do that keep them from growing. We do it because we think that it makes us bad people, or we don't want to deal with the conflict, or a host of other excuses like this. Its tough, but sometimes the best way we can help someone is by not helping them, by forcing them to stand up on their own two feet because we aren't helping them by being their leaning post anymore. Its not callous, and it doesn't mean that you haven't tried to help them out already, but at some point you need to take care of your own life and stop trying to do everything for them. If you keep it up then they never learn to do for themselves.

I have tried so many suggestions to him, I don't give up because I don't want to give up on our marrage. I love him even though he's a bit wishy washy and is a procrastinator which does frustrate me at times. I starated making lists for him which seem to help.

kick him to the curb. she needs to not engage him. just say, "you're out by this date." no discussion. then if he refuses, time to call the landlord or the cops and stop paying for his stuff. he is a grown man, he is not her responsibility.

AS A SISTER OF A WISHY WASHY PERSON THE ONLY THING I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT YOU DO NOT HELP THESE TYPES BY LETTING THEM CONTINUE WITH THIS BEHAVIOR. THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS BUT YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM. ALL THIS DOES IS MAKE YOUR FRIENDS LIFE MORE DIFFICULT. SHE'S NOT DOING THEM ANY FAVORS BY CONTINUEING TO SUPPORT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR. HE NEEDS TO CARRY HIS OWN WEIGHT AND BE JUST FRIENDS OR GET OUT AND STAY OUT.

I had this issue with my ex. When we started dating we were both in college and living at home. My mom then kicked my happy ass to the curb and I had to get a job and quit school. My best friend and I then got a place together. My bf then moved in with me because I lived closer to town then his parents and so it was easier for him to go job hunting, and he also had quit school. What ended up happening is I ended up paying for every thing for over a year. In the mean time I became alienated from my friends and family because they saw him for the mooch he was and I loved him and didn't want to believe it. He also got mad when ever I even spoke to a different guy. It took me 6 months from the time that I decided to kick him to the curb before I did it. Guys like him know how to manipulate you. We both ended up miserable and knew we didn't want to be together any more. In fact the only reason we stayed together was so we didn't feel guilty having sex. She needs to kick him out, and she needs to be ok with the idea he might hate her for a while. Hell mine tried to commit suicide when I kicked him out. But now he's back in school and on the right track.

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